In the first part of the story of the building of Findhorn, the founders of Findhorn and their characters were shared. This part will cover the years just prior to the development of Findhorn and how Findhorn got started and what ensued over the years, most especially with Peter Caddy.
Eileen and Peter were finally together after years of being apart and struggling to become the Christ, which Peter believed they had been working on through the guidance of Sheena. Peter also believed that Eileen, Dorothy and he had just finished going through a symbolic crucifixion where they were stripped of everything, all their hopes, and all their ideals. He believed Sheena's mission was to bring each of them to God so that they heard God's voice clearly, or in Peter's case, through inner knowing. Peter believed Sheena was misrepresented in later accounts about Findhorn. He firmly believed there would have been no Findhorn if Sheena hadn't given them all her training. He believed she had been completely selfless and dedicated all the years he knew her. Yet with a little insight into all their experiences with Sheena, and from their own words, it appears in reality she made all of them slaves to her, having to cater to her every whim, while carrying out emotional outbursts believed by many of them to be her unique talent to rid them of their egos. If not for their spiritual ideals it would have been easily seen she was caught in her own ego illusions of being the Christ as later newspaper articles mockingly labeled her.
Yet inevitably the time came that Peter believed their work with Sheena was done and they should part ways, especially as she was going through some not so positive changes in her life. He rationalized she was becoming unhinged because of the tremendous power she channeled, which was beginning to take its toll on her. He said Sheena had become obsessive about love and its ability to save the world and she had become out of balance turning away from Light and Wisdom. Although he said it distressed him to see her deteriorating, he felt he could do nothing to assist her.
Many of the women around Peter were caught up in being sexual liberated, which was the sign of the time in the sixties. Eileen had two children before marrying Peter, and then he only married her because he was afraid his new job at Cluny Hill would be jeopardized if they discovered from the news stories they were not married and just living together. Previously he had told Eileen that a legal ceremony was unnecessary since they had made a commitment to God, and since marriages were made in heaven they need not marry to be socially correct. Eileen felt she had to swallow her pride and do what Peter wanted. Eileen was always doing what Peter wanted, being the more submissive half in their relationship. As we shall see from the rest of the story, Eileen and Dorothy also became slaves to Peter's needs, having to be on call for their "inner voices" of I AM or channeled spirits, to give Peter direction on how to manage Cluny Hill, as he had no previous hotel management skills, or how to grow a garden, something else he never had experience within how to manage and improve poor soil.
Cluny Hill Hotel
It was 1957 when Peter found the new job managing the Cluny Hill Hotel near Forres and only four miles from the Findhorn village. Dorothy Maclean joined him as the hotel's secretary. Though they all were separated from Sheena they continued with the practices she taught. Sheena had taught Peter to act on every thought and intuition and to don't question it. While he had some great outcomes in meeting people and being in the right place at the right time, he also used his intuition to marry his first wife, whom he never loved and ultimately it hurt many people when again he quickly moved in with Sheena and discounted any Christian moral codes. He aimed to put aside rational reasoning just act from his intuition. It appears, as more of his history unfolds, that when it came to women his "intuition" could justify whatever his emotions dictated, as he ended up marrying five times and had a string of "falling in love" experiences with some he did not marry or followed whatever voice told him to do something regardless of who it was through.
After Sheena and Peter's divorce was final Sheena moved to the Isle of Mull, near Iona, West Scotland, where others followed her. There she received some front page coverage in the Scottish newspapers the same year Peter got his new job. The newspapers called her group the 'Nameless Ones', because her group had had no name, and they called Sheena "the woman Messiah". The reporters hounded everyone who was or had been connected with Sheena including Peter and Dorothy. Peter had to reassure his management he had nothing to do with this odd group. It was then Peter arranged for he and Eileen to get married in case the management discovered they were not, and soon Sheena returned their son. It was strange that Peter never objected to Sheena taking his son from Eileen, or that when he had the opportunity to return his son from Sheena. Yet he never once did, letting things run their course on Sheena's whims.
Not long after things changed irrevocably for Sheena, and her group split up and things went downhill for her. One day she came to Cluny Hill wanting to live with the Caddys. Peter turned her away, although she had no money to even return to where she had come from because he could not let anyone live on the premises. He did not give her a meal or money to help her, thereby questioning his ability to "move on" while claiming much gratitude to Sheena, believing Eileen's inner guidance was absolutely right and human kindness was to be transcended in that situation. She returned one more time years later after Findhorn had gotten established, after which Peter again turned her away saying he believed that she was nothing but an empty shell of who she once was. Sheena left in anger. She died of a cerebral hemorrhage ten years later, alone and destitute.
Peter's goal was to turn Cluny Hill into a four-star hotel, which he did before he was transferred to a new hotel after five years of successful management. He employed all manner of unorthodox methods to keep the hotel running that made it appear to be running smoothly on the outer, although it was not at times. One main problem was their head chef was an alcoholic and he would sometimes be passed out on the floor at the height of the dinner hour. Yet Peter kept him on, despite the constant battle to keep him sober enough to cook because he was an excellent chef.
Extraterrestrial Communications
Yet for all the success of Cluny Hill, Peter was taken away from there and sent by the management to resurrect another of their properties, the Trossachs Hotel, at Perthshire, one that could never make a profit. The hotel he was sent to everyone believed ] it had dark energies, and after a year they could not make any positive changes to the place. They lost many of their excellent help who either left or became alcoholics and were asked to leave, and even one committed suicide. Peter pleaded to management to return him to Cluny Hill, but instead, he was fired, no explanation why. Could it have been the strange beliefs he had that gave the hotel a bad name?
Years earlier things began escalated with Peter's UFO contacts. Eileen received a strange name during one of her inner messages and so Peter contacted a medium friend, Naomi, with what it could mean since she could get answers and contact about anyone and anything, and in whom Peter trusted 100%. She said it was an extraterrestrial being who wanted contact with them to start a mission to save earth people. She said he was a captain of a "mother ship" from Venus who wanted to make contact with them because mankind was in danger and the space brothers were going to aid them. Nuclear holocaust was looming on the horizon with the Cold War and many believed a planetary crisis was coming, including the Caddys. Daily contact with these "space brothers" went on for years, with many midnight vigils outside as they watched and waited for the spaceships to land.
Dorothy and Eileen were the main channelers as well as many other contacts in ufology that Peter met, most who were psychics and channelers. The goal was to form cosmic power centers around the world and form a network of people who were all joined to these "space brothers" who were going to suddenly rescue mankind, landing in their spacecraft, if a nuclear exchange ensued, and picking up certain key individuals who were the special ones on earth because they could communicate with these beings.
Peter was told to keep all this secret but he told a reporter confidentially what was going on and soon the story got out. Peter's upper management was furious. Peter was immediately fired but he pretended he didn't hear them and eventually things calmed down and they let him alone. Peter said it was the power of positive thinking that saved him his job until he eventually was fired a few years later at his new hotel. Yet for all the newspapers stories and almost getting fired, Peter and company continued their extraterrestrial work. They believed subsequent landing attempts had occurred but were aborted last minute due to climatic conditions and nuclear testing. They also believed that the saucers would evaculate groups of the "chosen" people if catastrophe occurred. No visible landings ever occurred. Peter even cleared trees from a part of the hotel to make a landing pad for the spacecraft, much to the management's surprise because Peter had not even let them know what he was about to do. While they might not have realized it was done to make room for spacecraft, this type of behavior, along with the news articles making the hotel look like a circus, that led to his being fired.
Living at the Caravan Park
After Peter was let go the Caddy's and Dorothy followed the direction of Eileen's "inner voice" which told them to make for the caravan park at Findhorn. Peter remained on unemployment for years, but it was barely sufficient to survive on. So he decided to make a little garden to supplement their diet. As enthusiastically and energetically as Peter was with his sports life while in RAF, Peter applied that energy now to gardening, which required much digging. He also made patios, built fences, planted hundreds of trees, turned compost piles and made building foundations. Peter also believed that "love vibrations" or "radiations" were being dug into the ground, and the deeper the digging the better. He attributed the success of the garden in part due to these radiations, as well as his work following the devas and plant spirits. Later, other group members agreed with this premise because the extra large vegetables ceased to grow when Peter was called to other jobs in the years ahead with so much to manage, along with lengthy time away touring to meet other "spiritual" people and groups, whereby other members had to take over the gardening.
In 1963 an annex was built onto their trailer so that Dorothy Maclean could continue to work with them. It was then that Dorothy Maclean had begun communicating with a pea deva and other nature spirits. She resisted initially, as her channeling was more to her liking on spiritual subjects, but Peter insisted, and so she became the primary source of direction for everything Peter did in the garden. Dismayed by the often contradictory guidance he found in gardening books, Caddy abandoned traditional knowledge and simply asked the Devas directly for guidance. Consequently, he would do every direction that came through Dorothy to the letter and credited the huge vegetables that grew to not his composting, although that was necessary, but to following the individual directions of each plant spirit. Dorothy was on call for every question and problem Peter encountered with the gardening, just as Eileen was on call at a moment's notice to go into meditation to confirm Peter's intuition so that he could act instantly. That meant that if either one of them were cooking dinner, changing diapers, etc. they had to drop what they were doing and give Peter an answer.
As people started to come to see the extraordinary garden produce a few people wanted to stay and rented trailers near Maclean and the Caddys. Other caravans were brought in and gifts of money began appearing from strangers who liked what Peter and the group were doing, which supplied enough to build and purchase other caravans and build cabins, although they still never had any excess money. Several wealthy visitors liked the life they saw at Findhorn and gave money so residents could buy the land their trailers were on. Young architects came to stay and build. The community got a dining hall, an office, and a printing shop. Whenever visitors dropped by, one of the community's members took them on a tour.
Peter was fanatical about cleanliness and order, and he would not tolerate any work that was not done to perfection and in "love" vibrations. When hippies started arriving, which he called "flower children", looking for a free place to stay, many came appearing unkempt and with a laissez-faire attitude about work, such that Peter had to try to refine them to fit the community spirit of cleanliness and work ethics, or they were asked to leave.
The community had a routine. Beginning with daily meditations where all were expected to attend and everyone was expected to have their own work to do to contribute to the food growing and preparation, as well as the preparation of new building sites as the group expanded and a dining hall, community room, and other needs arose. The group worked with a "network of light", sometimes sending and sometimes receiving telepathically with other groups and "highly developed" individuals. The main ideology of Findhorn was on "positive thinking" and manifesting whatever you needed from God. Through one's meditation practices, you were to become aware of the needs, such as bills to pay, acquiring caravans, manure for the composts and building materials. Then you see with your mind's eye the manifestation in form of what you identified as your need. Supposedly, if something did not manifest, that was because you really did not need it or you were at fault in your attunement or focus.
As Findhorn became a favorite haunt for thousands of new agers from around the world the community needed more room to house guests so when Cluny Hill came up for sale in 1975 they raised the funds and bought the hotel in and turned it into a college.
The other focus of the community was building a New Age retreat away from the coming catastrophic events sure to come but did not. The community was becoming in some ways self-sustaining, but also believed to be a power center for the world. Their center was to be a prototype for others, where loving positive thoughts prevailed in each member, coupled with the wisdom and light that resulted in a balanced harmonious self who followed the inner voice of God. While peace was one of the positive results of this ideology, not all the founding members were peaceful, most notably Eileen. Before their move to Findhorn Eileen expressed the gamut of negative emotions: fear, hatred, anger, resentment, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-condemnation, etc. While Peter thought her episode expressed her going through the "dark night of the soul" and was the end of this gamut of emotions, she continued to express much fear of people over the subsequent years.
For the first three years at Findhorn, Eileen also became a recluse and rarely left the park. She would get headaches if she went anywhere else. She also expressed in her memoirs the anger at Peter for his extra-marital affairs, some including adultery, and some just "love-sick" schoolboy affairs.
Robert Ogilvie Crombie (Roc)
Eventually Peter met Robert Ogilvie Crombie (Roc) who said he saw and communicated with fauns, the Greek mythological being, half-human half-animal, and also Pan himself, who looked like a faun but human size. Roc claimed he could see in other dimensions and also claimed to channel Saint Germain. Roc did not initially believe in UFOs until one day he claimed an extraterrestrial from Venus entered his room and talked with him. Roc could also see "dark forces". He came to Findhorn to live in 1966 in part to do battle with them and establish a forcefield of light to protect the budding community against black magic. This went against Eileen's belief, but after her inner guidance told her that Roc's work was the polar opposite of hers and was equally important, she began to accept him.
Roc brought up things from his channeling that even Peter had a hard time accepting, but accepted on faith. He felt Roc was the most powerful man he had ever met. Roc would go around anchoring "rays" of light especially the ray of St. Germain. One day while on the beach to meet up with a coming spacecraft, Roc said he could see it but the spacecraft flew off. No one else saw it. Of course, later channeling came that explained it all. The "space brothers" explained that they had raised everyone's vibration with their coming and sufficient light had been anchored on the planet so destruction was now averted. All that had been prophesied in earlier years was now no longer true and there was no need for an extraterrestrial "rescue mission".
David Spangler
Another influential person to join Findhorn was David Spangler, an American who came to Findhorn in 1970. He stayed for three years after initially coming for a visit. At the time he joined there were about twenty residents at Findhorn. Spangler began to claim an ability to “channel” Limitless Love and Truth, thus rivaling Eileen’s inner voice. Within two years there were over a hundred living at Findhorn due to the popularity of David Spangler with the younger recruits. In 1972, the community became officially known as the Findhorn Foundation. Possibly because of Spangler's influence, in 1972 Eileen's "inner voice" told her that she was to stop sharing her guidance with the community. Peter was not happy with this development and continued to rely upon other “guidance” through his many clairvoyant friends.
Peter’s co-dependency on having all the channelers around him to confirm his intuition meant he was not self-reliant, and when Eileen later told Peter he also was not going to receive any personal guidance from her anymore, it was seen as the beginning of Peter's estrangement from Eileen. Occasionally she would still pass on a message to him and for the community until even that was gradually eliminated. In 1973, Spangler returned to California to found another alternative community called Lorian Association, and Dorothy Maclain left with him.
Falling In Love
One of the new and young enthusiastic talented members that was raised to a leadership position at that time was a woman named Alice Weybull. Peter fell in love with Alice. Peter had assigned her the duty of heading up the guest department and soon they both were closely involved with deciding who could join the community and where to place them. One new middle-aged man joined the community who had designs on Alice and Peter said he had an inflated ego and he thought Alice would easily succumb to him, only to have been rejected by her. Peter mentions this because he saw what was going on from a "man's point of view" as he also had designs on Alice, but was hampered by his marriage.
Alice appeared to replace Eileen who no longer contributed to the community, and she carried many responsibilities working from morning until night contributing selflessly to the community. Eileen had begun a practice since 1962 of going to the community toilets every evening to meditate with her "inner god" until 5 a.m., which began as directed by her inner voice to do, as it was the only quiet time and area she had for meditations. Consequently, she was not in the marriage bed together with Peter for many years. Eileen stated she was putting God first, as she was taught, and now others were accusing her of neglecting the same God in Peter. To Peter, Alice was the new young, energetic, loving soul he longed to be with. Like many aging married men, their wives no longer look attractive compared to the young women around them, and in Peter's case, he no longer had a bed partner as well.
Yet rather than going to Eileen years earlier with their lifestyle and his problems with it, he let the practice continue until he could no longer resist the pretty young women around him. He said he and Alice never consummated their relationship, but never-the-less, the Bible states that lusting after a woman is equivalent to committing adultery, although Peter saw nothing wrong with adultery and did not live by the Ten Commandments anyway.
Peter's philosophy about sex was that in the New Age sex should continue but at a higher level through the power of enlightened thought and spirit. He also felt that love in a relationship was not complete unless expressed on all levels, including the physical (and by that he meant physical sexual union). Celibacy was not his interpretation of a loving relationship. His goal for Findhorn was to bring down the kingdom of heaven to earth. Eileen's goal was to raise the physical to the spiritual! Whereas Peter said he would accept all inner direction through Eileen, he would not accept any direction on sex because her words would be colored by her past experiences within her previous marriage. Could not that premise be applied to everything Eileen channeled, or all the other channelers, as they all had life experiences that would color their channeling?
While married to his first wife Peter highly enjoyed the many girlfriends he played with and even fell in love with one of them. He seemed to not be able to combine a healthy relationship in love and commitment without always having other people channeling messages for him on when to marry and who, when to separate, and endorsing extramarital relationships, etc. He followed any message that validated his current behavior or need, thereby justifying his actions as coming from a higher source confirming what he wanted to believe, which placed him above the moral Christian code of ethics when it came to women.
Eileen soon noticed Peter's change from being with Alice, the community did as well, and so Peter and Alice had to publicly explain what was going on. They both presented the idea that Alice was contributing to Peter's opening of his heart and that would assist Peter be a better leader of the community. Peter stated Eileen became furious when she found out he loved Alice, and he did not know how to handle that. He said for years afterward he felt like he was living next to a volcano that was ready to explode. Any women he became close to Eileen became suspicious that they were carrying on an affair, and she could not be sure he was not because he would want to hide the facts.
Then There Was Shari
In 1975 Peter began letting go of the reigns at Findhorn and he formed a core group to lead while he was away on his tours. When he returned from one trip he found that things had not gone so well as the responsibility was too great and so he formed smaller core groups and that worked better. Alice was part of one of the core groups, and it was never said what happened to her, as Peter moved on to other relationships, one while he was in California in 1979.
It was on a trip to California that Peter met Shari Secof, for the second time. It appeared Shari had designs on Peter, as she later told him after their first meeting she received a "divine command" to "get closer to Peter". At their second encounter, Peter spent the night with her. Yet Peter said he was resolved to work things out with Eileen and called off his relationship with Shari, who was outraged at Peter appearing to use her.
Although Peter said he tried working on his relationship with Eileen, things were not getting any better with his marriage due to Eileen's fears. Peter was in a dilemma. Shari was planning a visit to Findhorn and he debated whether to tell Eileen first about his relationship with Shari before Eileen found out in another and more traumatic way. Then Peter and Eileen received direction from another couple they often sought out advice from, and they were told they should separate for a time. Initially, they were both going to go on a tour through America, but Eileen backed out and Peter went alone, and there he met up with Shari once again. Shari was not interested in having a relationship with a married man, she said, yet they immediately were in bed together again and soon they were traveling and living together.
Peter said Shari was the embodiment of the feminine principle, meaning, to Peter, that she was highly a right-brain person with little left-brain action! Peter rationalized that Shari could assist him become more expressive with his emotions. He also stated in his memoir that he had intentions of returning to his wife in three or four months to work on their marriage! Yet later another healer told him he should cut the "umbilical cord" to Eileen. Then others, upon hearing of his affair, confirmed to him that what he was doing was right. Before he left Shari to return to Findhorn he asked her to be his "partner" but not in marriage. She accepted.
Peter Leaves Findhorn
Upon returning to Findhorn Peter broke the news to Eileen during their son's graduation. Eileen exploded with anger, according to Peter. She soon left Findhorn to help her pregnant daughter and while she was away he broke the news to the community they were separating and he was leaving the community, without first consulting with Eileen. Peter handed over the community leadership to Francois Duquesne, a twenty-eight-year-old who majored in business. He had earlier taken control of the books and when Peter announced he was leaving the community he handed over the entire reigns to Francois.
Francois said Peter's leadership was autocratic which led to a community distrust in authority. Other issues Francois was left to handle were the distrust and loss of faith in Eileen and Peter as idolized images, which turned to dust with their breakup. And then there was also a financial crisis, with not sufficient money to even pay the phone bill. Either the community was to prosper or fail, and the old way had to be replaced by a new one. The focus of the Community thus changed dramatically. Findhorn began to market itself as a commercial venture, setting itself on the course which eventually brought prosperity, although they often had to remain afloat by continually selling assets and charging exorbitant fees for their classes. They also dropped the channeling of extraterrestrials and today hardly a word is mentioned that that type of belief ever existed in the group. The community also did not openly welcome psychics as Peter had in the past, but went to relying more on the traditional ways of self-reliance and embracing business activity.
Peter Gets Married
After Findhorn Peter returned to living with Shari in Hawaii. Then after a few months, he met up with David Spangler, who told him the relationship with Shari was ending and they should separate, and so he told Shari and she was amicable about it, according to Peter. Touring the U.S. he met up with a woman he previously had met, Paula McLaughlin. They meditated together as suggested by Paula and Peter received within, "ask Paula to marry you". She was half his age, he was sixty-five at the time, and he didn't really know her. When they shared their meditative experience with each other, Paula confirmed what Peter got saying she received they were to marry and he was to be the father of her child, so they went ahead to be together. She soon arranged that they conceive their child on Mt. Shasta.
The news of their relationship caused a stir within Findhorn, and with other prominent figures around Peter. Peter and Paula married in 1982 and attempted to start a spiritual organization in Mt. Shasta. But Paula and Peter's relationship was rocky due to their differences and a marriage not based on love. After three years Paula announced she had received inner direction that they should separate. Peter said he grieved, possibly because of the loss of his son, although he had not been necessarily attached to any of his previous offspring, rarely seeing his children by his first marriage all throughout his life after his first divorce.
Meanwhile, Eileen had temporarily separated from Findhorn but then rejoined, albeit without any authority, more of a memorabilia figurehead, and remained more of a recluse in the community. She began to travel a lot to share her experiences at Findhorn and thereby grew in self-confidence. When Peter met up to tour with her for a while he found a new Eileen, one he did not like, because she had lost some of her timidness and was outspoken, much to his dismay. When she challenged him, sometimes publicly on something he said, he said he felt embarrassed. One time at a lecture while Eileen was telling her story, he was overcome with the suppressed feelings of anger, jealousy, and feelings of being hurt, while feeling God had been unfair to him because He had taken Eileen from him during all their years at Findhorn because she had been directed to meditate each night with her "inner god" at the toilets.
Then the Caddys received an invitation from Renata Zurnto to give a workshop in Germany in 1987. Renata was very into Babaji, who was considered to be a mahavatar. Paramahansa Yogananda described him as the "yogi-Christ of Modern India". They could not fit the workshop in their schedule, but Peter went to visit her after a tour was canceled and he had a break. It had been prophesied that he would meet his future partner in his seventieth year and he thought it was another woman he had already been with, but sparks had flown between him and Renata. Yet he returned to the other woman and moved in with her. After a "sensitive" related to him they were only together to clear a serious karma he left her and flew back to Germany to be with Renata. He soon asked her to marry him. They were married seven years when another driver hit him in a car accident and he was instantly killed.
Peter lived a full life. He traveled the world, climbed many mountains, literally and figuratively, and he fulfilled his goals. He truly cared about people. He was easy to love and respect for attributes most people did not have, principally a strong will and determination, while yet having the desire to fulfill God's will. He believed in himself. He also experienced many sorrows and many trials and separation from the ones he professed to love. Yet I can't help but see the elements of ignorance and a blindness to how he hurt others in his drive to do whatever he wanted or believed was right to do.
While we all have character flaws to work on, the reason Peter's life is scrutinized is that he believed he had a great mission to herald in a new age that would set the precedence for all to follow. What did that entail? He based his new community on what he was trained and learned through by Dr. Sullivan's teachings and through his second wife's premises on how to be the Christ. He believed in both those individuals, and their integrity 100%. Dr. Sullivan seemed to be an outstanding individual with a high degree of integrity and a certain amount of what New Agers call, "adeptship". He believed and lived what he taught, primarily the power of living for God and serving to assist others live for God and to do God's will.
Sheena did not appear to have any of these outstanding traits. Peter saw her through the eyes of a being a student to a teacher, as he did with Dr. Sullivan, but coupled with his adoration of her, and putting her on a pedestal, he gave her his power, which he had much of. She wielded power, which Peter believed was to help others who came to her to slay their unreal self, and to birth the real self, the "Christ" within. He also believed that her love was impeccable, and she did her power wielding in that love for others.
Not having known these individuals except through the eyes of others, with my sense of knowing people and having a measure of God wisdom, I saw Sheena as selfish and carrying a sense of self-importance beyond what would be there in the true character of one serving God. Her channeling was dubious at best, and her willingness to control other people's lives based on this channeling, thereby separating people in their marriages and families, and to teach and encourage them to channel themselves, was not a Godly thing to do.
Peter followed channelers and what he called "sensitives" all his life and rarely did he disagree with anything they supposedly received from God, Archangel Michael, St. Germain, "space brothers", etc. He developed and ruled Findhorn entirely on these channeled materials, with great success in many of his projects, yet also to the detriment in how he encouraged others in following the recommendations of these channeled "space brothers" and other false entities. As in many other New Age groups, channeling can appear to be giving much good advice and even supposedly leading one to God, except for a few slight tricks of the Devil, in adding one falsehood that eventually leads one away from God, no matter how many true things were included in what they channeled. There seemed to be total unobjective acceptance of whatever came through these individuals.
Eileen was an unbalanced person all her life. She seemed to never learned to get over anger and hate. She allowed others to rule over her and she gained a measure of self-importance by being the lead "God" channeler. Again, her directions were often beneficial, but other times very misleading and placating the lower self. Does God want everyone to have to meditate and ask God what to do on every facet of their life? Then do the many hear audible answers to their questions in what to do or what is happening or why something is what it is?
That was the way Findhorn was developed and grew and cannot be replicated for most other people in the world, or should it be. Dorothy and Roc channeled nature spirits, but again, there seemed to be no discretion with whom and what they were channeling. All of them saw visions except for Peter, and they interpreted those visions to give them meaning for what was happening in their lives as an adjunct to their channeling. Visions are not always from God. The Devil and ungodly spirits can appear and cause appearances in our lives if we are open to them.
To really see the flawed premises of the founders of Findhorn and those who became a part of its creation one has to read and study for themselves. I have presented some of the main points. So much more is in their memoirs. The challenging question I see is if God gave us free will why would the "god" within want to tell us what to do in every little detail? I believe God gave us free will to learn to choose to want to be God Reality and we cannot do that if we are hearing God telling us what to do and then we merelu obey. The true path is to lovingly surrender to the higher will of God through prayer and repentance and attunement with the true nature of God in us from the beginning. Developing that nature through right thought, word and deed through our free will choice, and in faith that God is inwardly directing us if we invite Him to, as well as Jesus Christ if we are Christians, then our lives will indeed be remarkable no matter what we do because we will always rectify our wrong actions when we occasionally fail.