Experiencing the Holy Spirit
Finding the Ascended Masters- Part II
I ended my previous story with my arrival at Camelot. Yet after my husband's Christmas visit, Camelot was not holding me to her. Family was drawing me to them. Some unseen force was pulling me back to Florida and attempting to get me to reconcile my marriage or to do something that concerned my children and my one son that was with his father. Those types of promptings were usually the "knowing" kind. I just knew that I had to do this and it was more important than my proximity to the messenger and the master's outpost in California.
I packed my little Datsun with all my belongings, even putting items on the roof of the car and I headed out over the desert with my two small boys on the 2,700 mile journey to South Florida. The first few hours were fine and then I started having engine trouble. I might have been close to the Arizona border where the road had turned slightly hilly when I lost power. I could make it up the hill at about 15 mph and then gain some speed going down, but I knew I was in deep trouble with not a building in sight, and only an occasional car. No one passed me or they would have noticed I was going extremely slow.
I thought it best to pull over and look under the hood and see if I could see any problem. That was highly unlikely as I had only the minimum engine skills like checking the oil and visual care of the belts and hoses to ensure they were intact. Yet it seemed that just at that moment a truck appeared and a man stopped to enlist his help. He immediately told me that it was probably my carburetor and if I could continue to drive a little further I would find a repair shop five miles down the road! If I had not stopped I might have passed it by not realizing what it was, and it was strange that with no towns in sight there happened to be a mechanic right there.
I made it to the shop and in a couple of hours he had me back traveling after working on the carburetor. That little incident cautioned me of the long trip ahead and that it might be fraught with danger and car trouble, so I continued to pray and decree for protection nonstop over the following days. I would drive until late in the evening, sleep in the car and then start back up around four or five a.m. The only problem I ran into on the way was that my engine was burning fuel or leaking oil from worn caskets at an alarming rate. I would have to put oil in every fuel stop.
I finally arrived in northern Florida and was disappointed that it was getting late and I could not make the last five hour leg of the trip without taking a break to sleep. Due to the items I had packed on the roof I experienced a wind drag which slowed me down in speed considerably. Suddenly a large truck was in front of me and I noticed that if I stayed close to him I would experience his wind break and the little Datsun could drive faster. The only problem was he was driving a little too fast, and I had not realized that would cause the engine to burn more oil with my trying to maintain his speed.
The Holy Spirit Speaks
To make the trip more interesting I opted for driving on parallel roads to the main interstate highway and I was on one of those smaller roads on a moonless night when I suddenly heard the words, "Get off this road!" I must have hesitated too long in comprehending the message as I heard again, "Get off this road now! Turn on the Freeway!" This time I immediately obeyed and a minute later saw a sign and the road to the Interstate. I was on the freeway in minutes and only on the freeway for five minutes when suddenly my engine died just as I was approaching a down ramp to exit the freeway. My momentum kept me going until I rolled in front of a gas station that was still open, but of course, the mechanic shop was closed.
We slept again in the car and the following morning the mechanic told me the engine had seized and I would need a new engine. Of course that was not reasonable to do for such an old car. Someone then came up to me and offered to buy the car. The only problem was I discovered before I left my apartment the title for the car was missing. I had not yet sent it in to register the car and thus I had no title in my name. I had accidentally thrown away the envelope it was in not checking inside to ensure the envelope was empty first. A quick look through the dumpster proved fruitless and I learned a lesson that stayed with me my entire life—check envelopes before throwing them away!
It was only the previous year I had thrown away a check in my garbage can. I had sold my food processor and took a check for it. When I went to deposit it I could not find it. I prayed for St. Germain's miracle pouch (the church taught this was a pouch of violet flame that could transmute problems and create miracles) and immediately after making the call I thought to look in my garbage can that was out on the curb. I opened the can and inside was a fast food bag and inside was the check!
These types of miracles were a common result of many of my prayers to the masters and God. I cannot affirm that the ascended masters were the ones who answered them or some cosmic force beyond the physical or God interceding on my behalf. It could have been the Holy Spirit or my guardian angel, but I had no belief in guardian angels from my religious upbringing at that time. The Summit Lighthouse taught that your guardian angel was your Holy Christ Self (your Higher Self) and I felt that was true. When I was younger I did not give any thought to where my guidance came from, it was just there. When I joined the Teachings I labeled that inner sense and knowing that had directed me over my life to the being of the Christ Self. I felt a powerful connection with what I believed was this higher Self.
A Test in Honesty
Before I found the teachings of the ascended masters I prayed directly to God, and heaven seemed to teach me right and wrong by the ramifications I experienced if I stepped out of line. One day I received a telephone call that "my bracelet" was ready to be picked up at a local store. The only problem was I had no bracelet ordered. But they had my name and telephone number. I talked it over with my sister and we came up with the conclusion that I should just go and pick up the bracelet! No one ever called me to let me know I was the wrong person and to return the item, but I did not feel it was the right thing to do.
A short time later I was on my way out the door rushing to go to work so I picked up my watch and carried it to the car to put on while sitting at a stoplight. The only problem was I could not find the watch when I went to put it on. I called home and asked my mother to look in the driveway. No success there nor was it anywhere in the car. I never found the watch. It came to me clearly that my unlawful act of taking something that did not belong to me, even if it had my name on it, would mean I would lose something in return. I learned that lesson from my experience.
While we all might misplace things from time to time, a second time of losing something valuable was pointing to something going on. I lost another piece of jewelry when I had took off one of my favorite rings and it was not in its rightful place. I could not find it anywhere. It was still fresh in my memory what happened with my watch that I never recovered and I was hoping my ring was not yet another disappearance. It was not impossible one of my young sons had seen it and picked it up, but they were too young to remember where they would have put it if they did. So I prayed to God and the masters who help you find things. Without a thought I immediately found myself getting up and going into my closet to look in my shoes and there was the ring inside a shoe! The chances of finding a lost item in a shoe is very unusual to begin with, and the chances of finding a lost item in the first place where you first looked after praying would indicate it was by the Holy Spirit, my guardian angel or an ascended master. If I had not known the ascended master concept and a Christ Self I would have claimed that God answered my prayer and His Spirit gave me the location through "knowing". But once joining the ascended master teachings it was easy to start believing these masters were the miracle workers in my life.
I had another experience losing jewelry that happened a few years later. My husband and I were moving back to Florida from the Bahamas and during my packing, I realized my engagement ring was missing. I did not have many belongings while living there or places I could have put it and I checked everything. The apartment was empty and I scoured it from one end to the other before we left for the airport. No ring was found nor had it been in any of my usual places to look like my purse. I was on the airplane when I thought I would check my purse one last time and low and behold the ring was in it. It was not there when I looked at least two other times. I knew either that ring was in my purse the whole time but some force kept me from seeing and finding it, or it was not in my purse and some force moved it thereafter the fact. To what purpose it happened I did not learn.
It could have been demonic interference like a poltergeist rather than a manifestation of the Spirit of God. Yet since I had had no poltergeist manifestations before, nor after, the chances of a one-time poltergeist attack would be highly unlikely. Once dark forces start they continue until they are exorcised with the Spirit of God. Therefore my conclusion was heaven had intervened in some way. Again, was it masters, my Christ Self, or the Holy Spirit? I put aside the belief that I just accidentally did not see it. It was impossible as I did not have a large purse full of dozens of items like some women carry. It was in a side pocket where I had already looked. The memory remains with that experience, which tells me it was an important one.
One more example of using calls to the masters happened about the same time I lost the check in the garbage can. My husband and I were living on very little income while he was going to college. We had some form of money coming in from the government and rebates on college tuition and one month we did not receive the check. After calling the school they informed me the check was lost, which meant it would be a while before any replacement would come in and we had bills to pay. I prayed again to St. Germain's miracle pouch and within a few hours they called me back to let me know they found the check attached by a paper clip to the back of some other paperwork. They might have found the check without my prayers, but at the time I was positive it was an answer to my prayers through the violet flame calls.
Divine Protection and Intervention
I was offered $100 for my Datsun without a title and I took it. I was still five hours from home and no way to get there with all my possessions. Fortunately, my sister's boyfriend had a van and they volunteered to pick us up. I never told anyone about the message I heard for years. Maybe too much was going on in my life to have given it any thought, but in time I realized that that message was not my own thoughts but divine intervention. If I had not gone on the interstate when I did my engine would have died on a two-lane road with no place to pull over and no lights to warn other vehicles. There were no personal cell phones in those days. I don't want to think of the consequences with two small boys and the danger we would have been in. After joining the ascended master teachings I believed it could have been my Christ Self that spoke to me. I believe today it was the Holy Spirit. I don't believe I have felt a personal angel with me per se, more the Spirit of God and often the Spirit would move me to do something without a premeditative thought. Basically, I would just act from a place of knowing. Sometimes it would be a voice that was separate from my mind. Sometimes it would be a prompting that I should do something, and that prompting would stay with me until either I carried through on the prompting or the time was past to do so.
Maybe I was so used to divine intervention in my world that I did not see it as so unusual because I had heard voices before like the words about my new marriage, "Do you love this man?" But it was essential I remembered those instances of divine intervention because there would come a day when I would have to look back and determine if those daily messages to me that began in 1996 from the "ascended masters", especially the master El Morya, real? If the Prophets and Ballards were pretending to be something they were not, were not their stories and dictations from their masters also questionable? If I could to take messages from unreal masters, were not they also, and many other channelers believing they were hearing or speaking words from divine beings?
I had little doubt in my mind that my past was alive with divine intervention, as undoubtedly many people in the world experience as well. Yet many people aren't cognizant that what they experienced was divine intervention. Yet also many stories of miracles abound that are attributed to divine intervention. Miracles happen that defy the known laws of the universe. I have read and heard hundreds of them, many of them from Christians, and several from ascended master students. Can you pray to an ascended master who is not real and God answers that prayer regardless? Is it from some untapped power of our mind that manifests the miracles because we do send out a prayer, whether to angels, masters or God and thus the miracle occurs regardless of who we pray to? These questions were not even thought of during those years I experienced what I thought was a direct communication with ascended beings who were part of what Helena Blavatsky called the Great White Brotherhood.
Calamities Began to Happen
Yet my world was not all a bed of roses once joining the Summit Lighthouse, even with the daily use of the violet flame and Archangel Michael decrees lots of calamities entered my world over the first year or two after I joined. After I moved near to the Camelot the new rental tenant of my home in Florida took a new credit card I received in the mail, opened my mail and began using my new card charging it up to its limit. Thankfully, the credit company wrote it off as fraud and I was not held responsible. Today you must verify the card with your telephone number to begin using it.
Around the same time, we had a balloon note due on the house and my husband's income could not qualify for a new loan. Interest rates had risen to 18% at that time so the house went into foreclosure. Thus when I returned from California back to Florida I had no place to live. The reason I bought the Datsun was that after my husband graduated and returned back to the Navy base to work I totaled our van. I was driving through a residential area when another van broadsided me. The city was working on the roads and had taken down the stop sign. They had flagman who were supposed to be directing traffic, but he must have disappeared for a moment, as no flagman was there at the time I went through the intersection.
It was a fairly new van we had bought for $7,000 cash from the proceeds of our West Virginia property sale, and the rest of the proceeds went towards buying our house. The insurance company gave me back much less than I believed the van was worth. I only had a slight bruise on my thigh from being thrown against the steering wheel and the van rolled up onto a banked hill that surrounded an office building. If that hill had not been there I would have crashed through the windows. I saw it as a miracle that I was not severely hurt and that my daily decrees and prayers probably protected me, yet it meant we lost much money. Being young and naive I let the insurance company handle the case while I should have sued the city or company who provided the flagmen. Yet we are admonished not to sue, so I have not sued anyone in my life and it is not a part of my nature to do so.
Then my purse was stolen one day. The postal service called me. They found it in a mailbox, empty of my valuables of course. My husband and I had lost all the assets we had by the time we separated. We bought the 107 acres in West Virginia for about $100 an acre and in four years we sold the property for almost double the price we paid. We also made a good profit selling our house we bought in Gainesville, Florida after we moved back from West Virginia. When we moved to South Florida to be nearer our families we found out home prices were very expensive. Interest rates were high at the time and the only home we could afford was a one bedroom home in not a very desirable area. After that home foreclosed I walked away from that marriage with no assets to my name, plus my divorce was tough, as most are. Our dispute was not over assets, as we had none, but over custody of our children, which by then were four.
After losing my car and home I stayed with my parent's and got a job waitressing and I began to save a little money. First I had to buy a used car and with a house foreclosure, I was bad credit so the dealership charged me 28% interest on that small loan. My husband was on a weekend trip to the States from his job in the Bahamas when he called me up for a date. I had not yet bought a car and had no ride but my sister and her boyfriend volunteered to drive me to West Palm Beach to meet him. My husband asked me to stay the night with him and I initially declined but I finally agreed and that night we conceived our first daughter. Now I was pregnant and separated in our rocky marriage and I still wanted to attend Summit University (SU). I arranged for the boys to stay with their father in the Bahamas and I saved just sufficient money to pay for my SU tuition. I had been praying for the tuition money to manifest and it did, to the penny. But then I realized I had no money to find my way out to California! My mother exchanged one of my two gold coins worth about $45 for the cash for a bus ticket one way. I paid for the return ticket after receiving a small insurance refund while at SU.
Summit University
I was three months pregnant when I left for SU in September 1982. The pregnancy allowed me to exempt myself from some of the demands of the three-month experience. One thing I was exempt from was the raw food day once a week where only fruits, raw vegetables and a type of sprouted uncooked bread was served. I was always the first one in bed at night and the last one up in the morning. I could not get sufficient sleep and thereby slept through many a recorded dictation. Hours and hours of dictations we heard with many by the master we believed was sponsoring our quarter, John the Beloved. Those dictations said to be from him were like lullabies putting you to sleep talking about love, and more love. They lacked what I called "fire" and the Spirit that motivates you into action. Although this master was supposed to be sponsoring that quarter we did not receive one live dictation from him to us as a group. We were a small group with only fifty people, compared to the hundreds in the previous quarters of Kuan Yin. I heard many stories of how rough some of the previous quarters were. People had to wear "goat" signs in the previous quarter for some infractions as a way to help them break down their egos. One quarter was told that most all their group were "wanderers" who had no home, from their disobedience as fallen angels, until a master intervened and sponsored them.
I do not know to what extent the messenger spent with the previous quarters, but she was not there at our quarter teaching but maybe the last couple of weeks, which was disappointing. The people in our group seemed to be very loving people and I felt I had been with some of them in a prior life, especially in a monastic environment. I made one friend that eventually became my neighbor while living in Glastonbury. We did many meditations the messenger had created. One called "Invoking the Cloud" which was a cloud of spiritual light you created through your concentration on the light and then you would direct that light into various problems in the world. I rarely made it through one of those meditations without dozing off. We also did "heart" meditations with taped recordings supposedly from St. Germain, and received old lectures and teachings delivered by the messenger.
I determined that I would use every minute to balance karma and free myself from my debts, so I went to the violet flame room often to decree when the group was not decreeing together. We spent much time sitting and this caused me a lot of pain as I had a tendency to get swollen veins in my legs during my pregnancies. One day Camelot was threatened by the brush fires and Santa Anna winds that often tormented the area. We stood for hours giving a decree called "Reverse the Tide". I foolishly stood the whole time and my legs were very swollen from standing so long in one place with my circulation problem. My mother had the same issue and could have been hereditary, but I always looked at physical issues as not just genetically caused, but from our own karmic conditions.
Despite the messenger not available much during our SU quarter, I did enjoy myself, even with the constant sitting and my having to fight falling asleep all the time. We took a couple of tests and wrote a couple of essays during the quarter and I got excellent grades on them, which bolstered my spirit that I was spiritually attuned. Yet during the whole quarter I was not challenged to come up higher. I was just filled with listening to previous lectures and dictations, something I had already been doing on my own.
At the end of the quarter we were required to write to the messenger and tell her what our future plans were. I wrote that I was returning to Florida and would start a study group. She wrote me back that I should join staff and to give her a call. I knew I could not join staff as I was not divorced, only separated, and I had four children. So I told the SU teachers I would not call her. They insisted I should and I finally succumbed, much to my regret. I got right through to Elizabeth and I said I was interested in finding out about joining staff. She immediately responded, "What about the children?" and I felt foolish for having called her and quickly ended the conversation responding that I did not know how I could with the children. She seemed rough and gruff and I felt embarrassed.
There did not appear to be any mind control or attempts to keep you separated from family. Everything appeared to be attempting to give students a spiritual experience where they could prepare themselves mentally, emotionally and physically for attunement with their God Self. The question is was the information your mind was taking in leading you closer to God or into a fantasy world created by individuals whose ulterior motives, starting back as far as Theosophy all the way through to the Summit messengers, were ungodly motives? Both the Ballards and Mark Prophet were very poor before they both founded their organizations. Madame Blavatsky thumbed her nose at Christianity and was very intellectual and lived in a fantasy world most of her life. Elizabeth did not appear to be prideful but she was noted for being very controlling in the name of the ascended masters, and thus no one could dispute her or they would be disputing God. She was a perfectionist and a strong taskmaster, demanding strict adherence to her rules while she continually broke them herself.
The likelihood that these people were completely pure in their motives is slim. Guy Ballard was running from authorities and using a false name to hide from the law. Mark Prophet was running from creditors. Both at one time changed their names to avoid being found or harassed. If Mark was truly a man with all the gifts of the Holy Spirit he would have surely been able to earn a living and he would not have abandoned his wife and five children to marry a much younger woman. He also would have had the integrity to provide for his children more than a hundred dollars a month child support while he lived in mansions and had expensive cars and they barely had enough to meet their basic needs. While Elizabeth taught how to channel your sexual energies to avoid wasting your light through frequent sexual activity, she was having sexual activity and doing just that, wasting the light, because Mark had to have his daily sex to eliminate his abundant light from his contacts with "the light".
Who was right? Mark saw nothing wrong with daily sex and felt it was necessary because he was so spiritual and garnered so much light and thus selfishly demanded it of Elizabeth without considering she did not have the same need. Thus she was led to ungodly ways to meet his demands by having other men ready her for sex with her husband. Then when Elizabeth was at the helm she taught sex was a waste of your light unless used for procreation, while having wasteful sex herself outside of marriage.
Could these people really have pure minds and hearts to tune into higher realms and speak the word of God? Would ascended master students have thought twice about believing in the I AM Presence, the violet flame, and the ascension knowing the true history of these people and their organizations? These questions and more will be covered in future articles.
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