After the Failed Prophecies

In the previous article, I shared my personal experiences moving to Montana during the "shelter cycle", the period of shelter preparation in 1989-90. In the previous article to that one, I shared the beliefs and practices of the Church during the 1980's, which had become more focused on the judgment of evil and led up to the shelter cycle with several dire messages from the ascended masters. Some estimates claim that half of the church members left the organization after the unfailed prophecy of March 1990, but realistically it was only a third of the membership. Still, membership continued to decline over the ensuing years with Mother's divorce and then her illness and retirement, and tithing fell drastically. Those who remained reasoned, along with the explanation from the masters, that their preparation prevented a nuclear war. I was one of those individuals who stayed, still believing in the messenger and the masters and that our shelters were for a purpose we would one day understand. And because my husband and I did not go broke and in debt in our preparations and we were not hoping the shelters would really have to be used, we survived and went on with our lives like normal.

Like many Summit Lighthouse students, I admired "Mother" (Elizabeth Clare Prophet) immensely. I never seemed to doubt her sincerity or dedication to her role as messenger and all the other titles she carried with being a messenger, lecturer, and guru. Yet what we saw and what was the truth about Mother was another matter. I learned that Elizabeth was married before she met Mark Prophet from a newspaper article the second year I joined the Teachings. Initially, I was very astonished, but I set aside any doubts in her integrity because what I witnessed, I believed, was more important than her history that I knew little about.

Elizabeth Clare Prophet's Epilepsy
Very few knew, outside of staff and the oldest of her children, that Mother had petit mal epilepsy, known more commonly today as absence seizures, and that later in life she began having “tonic-clonic” seizures, a.k.a. grand mal, and where she had to be hospitalized one time. in a 1982 interview, her estranged parents confirmed she had these absent seizures, but few read or heard that interview. It was after Elizabeth's retirement that many of these hidden things came out of the closet, and with the publishing of Mother's memoirs by the Church, and another book, almost exactly like it, by Erin Prophet. Then, in Erin Prophet's second book, Prophet's Daughter, she gave greater details on when the grand mal seizures began.

It was in 1988 that Mother went into 'status', a term the doctors commonly used to describe continual seizures. Then in the midst of status, she went into a grand mal seizure. It was the first day of the New Year's conference. Erin went to the Court (what the church called their service building) and led decrees and never mentioned why Mother did not appear. Although more absence seizures continued during the following day by evening after a sedative things temporarily righted themselves and Mother was back on the platform and continued delivering dictations until the end of the conference a few days later. I did not attend that conference as I was working steadily to prepare to move to Montana, not arriving until the Easter conference. After the conference she went into status again and the doctors recommended she enter the hospital to confirm what was going on. Medication brought some normalcy but Mother did not feel comfortable giving dictations for months.

Erin explained how at the summer July Fourth conference 1988 Mother arrived late at the altar and gave a six-hour lecture that didn't end until 9:30 p.m. That was the conference I attended where after returning home I realized that I had to move to Montana as soon as possible because I felt like I left a part of myself there. We were supposed to have our traditional Fourth of July parade, but it was 11 p.m. before it began. Dictations followed that and we left the conference after 2 a.m. Of course, this was hard on families, children were in childcare and then you had to collect them and return to your tent for the rest of the short night left. Yet Mother was going strong throughout, even though shortly before the conference she had a seizure.

Attacking Dark Forces, Astreas and Sword Use
Mother was brought up in Christian Science, but she was also familiar with the Ballard's teachings, as well as Theosophy. From Christian Science, she learned diseases were seen as unreal, but that belief never healed Mother of her absence seizures. From Madame Blavatsky's "Isis Unveiled" she believed using a stainless steel knife around your body would cut yourself and others free of discarnate entities. According to Blavatsky, a blade of stainless steel can cause temporary harm to the entities and they don't like it and leave.

By the early nineties, many chelas carried an Archangel Michael sword (sold by the Church for $60 with "Archangel Michael" engraved on it) to their morning decrees to cut around themselves while decreeing. During the nineties Mother also established one or two swordsmen who would perpetually swing the sword, one on each side of the court, while we were decreeing. Supposedly, the light of Archangel Michael comes off the sword and went into all who were present. So as the swordsman wields the sword, he is cutting you free. I swung a sword every morning for years while giving Astrea decrees. I can't say if it worked, as I did not see dark forces, nor led a lifestyle that attracted dark forces, but it is also supposed to cut you free from black magic, which magic can harm others by negative thoughts and words (such as curses) against others.

Not everyone who used the sword was of a balanced mind, unfortunately, although most used their swords diligently. A few days before Christmas in 1993 my husband was alone at home in Glastonbury when he heard some gunshots and went outside to find the police in a confrontation with a resident on our road. Mitchell Mandell owned a trailer and was attempting to evict his tenant. The tenant called the police after she had an altercation with Mandell. The week before he had assaulted her daughter and she filed a complaint and there was a warrant out for his arrest. The Montana Highway Patrol came out to arrest him for his earlier assault. Mandell ordered the police to leave and waved a large sword at them. Then, after he pointed a gun at them they hid behind their cars while he continued to wave his sword reciting decrees to Archangel Michael. According to the Billings Gazette it was not an Archangel Michael sword (which is only 18" long), although many assumed it was and have repeated the falsehood. The police tried to negotiate but Mandell got all the more riled. Eventually, the police said he fired his pistol at them. The result was the police returned fire and killed him.

Mandell was involved with antigovernment tax-protest groups and was a fighter—and unbalanced. The Church often attracted individuals like Mandell as the Church appeared to be antigovernment itself with all its exposés on the dark forces in governments. A wrongful death lawsuit in the District Court was filed in 1995 against the Church, Elizabeth Clare Prophet, and the police, by Mitch's mother. A year later she filed the same suit in the federal courts for five million dollars and dropped the civil suit. She claimed the police used excessive force and the church was negligent in not intervening and mediating the affair. The Church eventually settled out-of-court after lengthy legal proceedings.

This did not aid the Church's image in those most difficult years during and after the shelter cycle, along with the so many other things the church was dealing with. First, the illegal weapons purchase by church members, then the revocation of their IRS exempt status, then the fuel spill near a sensitive creek for spawning cutthroat trout. Twenty thousand gallons were leaked yet the Church did a fantastic cleanup job and then removed all the fuel from the tanks. They were praised for their work on that, but it cost them over a million dollars. They eventually had their exempt status restored.

Mother believed she was frequently under attack by dark forces and negative energies and believed her problems thereby stemmed from others, just as Mary Baker Eddy of Christian Science believed with her "malicious animal magnetism" (MAM) that she was constantly under attack. Just as Eddy had round the clock prayers for this MAM against her that she believed caused her to have "attacks", Mother had her 24-hour decree tag decreeing against the fallen angels and dark forces she believed were causing her attacks. Eddy had seizures, where she would often lie unconscious for hours, but they did not appear to be epileptic. At other times she had fits and would seem almost insane, denouncing all her friends and that they were all wronging her. Some believe fear caused Mary's fits when she wouldn't get her way as a child, but as an adult, stress and fear seemed to bring it on. With Elizabeth, she seemed fearless but it was the paranoia and the focus on evil "out to get you" and everything else good on the planet that became out of balance in her world contributing to her inner fears.

At one of Elizabeth's lectures, she spoke of dark forces or demons behind epileptic seizures. I remembered her talk because I dated a young man that had epilepsy and one night he tried to force himself on me. I had told him I was celibate and that night he lost control. As he did I started doing the Astrea decree quietly and suddenly he got up and pulled on his pants and ran out the door. He came back a few minutes later and apologized saying, "I don't know who you were praying to, but it worked." Needless to say, we never dated again. I don't know whether he had a demon or not, but he lost control, a sign of not being entirely in control of one's mind, but occasionally under the control of dark forces.

Erin Prophet explained in her book that Mother would ask her to help her clear the dark forces from her to prevent her seizures. One night after working with her she left her mother to rest. Shortly thereafter she heard her mother scream as she went into a grand mal seizure. Erin points out that dark forces supposedly caused it, but the decrees and calls did not stop the forthcoming seizure. Yet there are testimonies where demons have been taken from individuals who have had epilepsy and they recovered never to experience a seizure again.

In Derek Prince's book, They Shall Expel Demons, he writes, "A friend of mine, an evangelist, was asked to pray for someone with epilepsy. When he came against the epileptic spirit, the spirit -- not the person -- replied, 'You fool! I've been medically certified.' Demons know how to adapt to modern medical procedure and terminology!" Prince went on to say to exorcize an epileptic spirit you have to put up a fight and determine to win because they will fight to stay.

Since Elizabeth Prophet did all the spiritual work to keep her forcefield clear of dark forces and energies from others, as well as her decree tag consisting of one or more individuals taking turns giving decrees in shifts for her protection, and her epilepsy did not heal but got worse, it is clear that decrees did not protect her from having seizures. Eddy's affirmations and the prayers of others did not stop her attacks either. It is not clear if the cause was a demon in either case, and I am not aware that Elizabeth ever had an exorcism, Mary did not. The Astrea calls and decree are supposed to be able to clear demons or any dark forces from individuals and they were done daily by staff and all the time in the decree tags for Mother.

I have used Astreas on demon-possessed individuals, and if it worked it took a long time. As mentioned in a previous article, I had testimony of some success helping individuals, but others the demons laughed and mocked us. I believe I would have had greater success calling to Jesus since he is our intercessor in this world against evil, and since we have no proof that an Elohim "Astrea" exists.

In the Hebrew Bible Elohim is one of the many names for God. According to the Ascended Master Teachings there are seven Elohim and their twin counterparts. They are the builders of form and the God in the first verse of the Bible. They carry the highest vibration of light that humans can understand. I believed in the different Elohim represented under the seven rays the masters taught. When I began to hear the "masters" the Elohim came to me many a time representing to me loving parents. They taught me many things that a parent would teach a child if they were wise parents. When sometimes I was directed by them to do something it would lead to not only my healing but my future work in helping others to heal. I cannot say that I felt either a father or mother energy connected with the Elohim. Considering they were supposed to be the highest representative of Father and Power in Heaven, I did not feel a strong demanding power through their words and guidance. One word that to me describes my experience with what came to me identifiying as Elohim, and that was love. I could feel love through every suggestion, every gift, every word, and every direction.

At some time I will share more on those experiences with the Elohim and the masters. I later questioned the masters that identified themselves to me over the years after I left the Ascended Master Teachings. Yet I found it hard to doubt the Elohim. I believe that if God were speaking to me in some of those conversations and messages over the years that the Elohim would be the closest to being God, and would be the voice of God. Yet I also loved the individual masters, especially the one identified as El Morya. Since other individuals have also heard these "masters", and some have followed the voices through messengers who delivered their words, we need to learn what happened and what was its purpose and by whom. Thus I began with sharing the histories of some of these messengers and healers, as preparatory work to learn what were these messengers real purpose behind their messengership, and what did they really believe and how did they really act privately, to assist in determining what was real and what was not and what were their sources.

Guru Ma A Charismatic Leader
I used to admire the way Mother could stand on the platform for hours giving lectures, and then shortly afterward give a dictation, and to do so, right after these seizures, was a testimony to Mother's will and strength. Elizabeth was sincere and dedicated in her role as messenger. Yet beyond sincerity what really matters was whether she was psychologically sound and able to lead tens of thousands of people closer to God. Was she able to be trusted for sound judgment and guidance? Did she believe that what came through her was infallible because she believed the masters were infallible? Did she have a double standard for herself and family then what she taught to the greater community? Did she take too great of a role in ordering around people's lives and sometimes use individuals for greater gain for her church and then dispose of them when they were no longer of need to her?

Elizabeth was also an excellent lecturer and a charismatic leader. Staff editors or Erin prepared all of the main conference lectures. I ignorantly thought Elizabeth prepared her own lectures, but not so, although she did prepare her outlines. First, her staff would research the topic and gather all the facts (and this was before the worldwide net) and then the lecture would be written by one of them and then Mother would review it. I also could not understand how Mother could read her notes and lecture simultaneously without appearing to stop to read them. I actually thought that most of her information was from her memory and her own studies of the topics she talked about.

I often found myself studying her, how she stood in one place for so long without tiring, how her voice would not get hoarse even after hours of speaking, how she carried herself, how good she pronounced difficult words and names, and how she would sometimes interject into her outline of notes she read with a sudden comment that "St. Germain" is telling me......" and then she would continue from her notes. Sometimes you could feel where "Elizabeth entered" the lecture and she left off the preplanned notes. I wondered to myself how one could hear a master to begin with, let alone while you are talking and giving a lecture! How do you switch from outer listening to inner listening while in the middle of a speaking to an audience?

All these studies and contemplation I did at every lecture, conference, and meeting I attended with Elizabeth, not aware that I was preparing myself for my future. I had no desire to lecture before a group, teach or be a "messenger" of the masters, yet I desired to overcome any impediments to doing so. This was not a conscious decision, but came from the subconscious, below my outer awareness. It was as if I knew my future from the hidden sources of my mind while my conscious awareness had not the slightest idea of what my future was. I know I had no desires to be in Mother's place. I did not hear the masters, except for my once every few years experiences. Yet I had people in my study group that heard or saw what they claimed were masters, and I knew it was possible because Mother did it, and other messengers before her. I also ignorantly believed that those who did have gifts of the Holy Spirit, which I believed hearing and seeing masters and angels were gifts of the Spirit, were pure and holy people. I had a lot to learn about the gifts, not only that there are false gifts, but false chelas with false gifts. More on that and my own experience leading to being a messenger in a later article.

Elizabeth Clare Prophet's Motives
Three of the Prophet children, Erin, Moira, and Sean have revealed insights into their mother's character, as well as through other insights that came from those close to their mother. Then there are the books and personal testimonies from those who left the Teachings and who wanted to share their view of what they saw and experienced living and working on the church staff. When a number of these sources basically all confirm the same things, we can come to some definite conclusions and answers to the above questions.

Money was always important to Elizabeth. Not that she had lots of money or possessions herself, she didn't need to. When you have church funds and possessions at your disposal you don't need much money yourself. The messenger had a right to have a beautiful home to live in, nice clothes to wear, and good and nutritious food to eat, but did she need several homes on the beach, elaborate gowns to wear sometimes once at conferences and never worn again, or Haagen Daz ice cream and prime rib when she denied staff the same foods for spiritual reasons? In 1981 she bought herself a wedding dress on a spur of the moment for $10,000 (it was marked down half price), when she was not even engaged to be married. She eventually wore it when she married Edward Francis.

When Elizabeth’s parents were near eighty they came to live with their daughter, but she made them pay their room and board. She was pressured by her parent’s neighbors, who she had a close relationship while growing up, to take care of her parents. While they were living with Elizabeth she and Edward Francis tried to convince them to sign their house over to the Church, but Mr. Wulf would not. Her parents shortly left to return to their home and disinherited her whereby her father called her "money hungry". My employer in Montana was good friends with Elizabeth and when her parents died he went with Elizabeth to New Jersey to close their house and sell their things, so she did end up inheriting the property after their deaths probably since she was their only child and they had no one else to leave it to. She accused her father of being a top fallen angel, Peshu Alga, the fallen angel who tempted Lucifer to fall from heaven. Eventually, he was taken to his second death after the church called forth his judgment. Erin said Elizabeth would not forgive her mother for trying to abort her in the womb, which she believed could have been the cause of her epilepsy, and believed that her mother was the consort of Peshu Alga, making her a fallen angel as well.

Elizabeth was also narcissist in her belief that she was one of the most important people on the planet, as who else carried all the titles she had and was the vicar of Christ, and brought forth dictations at a 99% accuracy from cosmic beings in heaven? Therefore she had to have bodyguards at the conferences. She did not trust her decrees or prayers, or the decree tags or God, or Archangel Michael to protect her. Whether she chose individuals to protect her like herself, or they became like her in this way because of the nature of their jobs and intimacy with the messenger, some of her bodyguards were narcissists as well. My employer in Montana hired one of her bodyguards as manager of the company. He thought the world of himself and one day I could not help but write him a letter and tell him what I observed. He was hurting people and only seemed concerned for what he was doing, not on what the company needed.

In the New Year's conference at Camelot I attended in 1982, "The Class of Elohim", the messenger believed her life was threatened after the front desk received a death threat and someone else relayed a dream of someone running up the isle to shoot her, so Elizabeth had the church purchase a Lexan bulletproof glass barrier that was an inch-and-a-half thick, about seven feet high and cost $25,000, to be placed between her and the audience in the chapel. It remained up the whole conference, and the messenger was absent an extraordinary amount of time at that conference. By the end, she had not delivered all seven of the Elohim dictations. I was so disappointed. Then it took months to eventually get the rest of the dictations and publish them. It was later revealed that a youth had phoned in the threat as a hoax, but no master intervened and enlightened her what was really going on. (Although I understand why being a messenger myself. I will explain more of that in a future article.)

Elizabeth had a desire to be a leader of notoriety for changing the world, a messenger of God who would bring healing to the world, probably from her youth, as she had admired Mary Baker Eddy and other messengers she learned about and studied. As she became the sole messenger after Mark's death, her role became more glorified by the masters she channeled, and her image of perfection increased as the years went by, and then a master through her claimed she had balanced 100% of her karma which would qualify her for the ascension. Adulation of followers can become addicting, and the sense of self-importance, along with the power she wielded as the voice of authority leaves no room to be just an ordinary person who gets tired, sick or makes mistakes.

Elizabeth learned early in her messengership that one error could cost students to leave the teachings and possibly lose their opportunity for the ascension. Some of Mark's followers claimed that an error in a published work of the dictations meant that the real masters were not behind the messengers, and they left the teachings. This set the precedent for the rest of her messengership where she became such a perfectionist that she was fanatical and every Pearl of Wisdom had to go through several editors before reaching her desk and then she meticulously went over them repeatedly. Her boyfriend and seer at Camelot, Harry, related how he used to cut the tapes to edit pronunciations, wrong words, etc. in the recorded dictations to make the final recording perfect. He said, "but this idea of making her sound flawless was brought to a level of obsession, which was just one more facet of the messenger." 

I worked in the editorial department for a year in 1993-94 and witnessed the hierarchy in practice. Erin had so many rules in her trailer that she shared with her mother and one other editor, that it too showed her sense of self-importance. Some of her requests were normal, but the list was so long that to go near her office would be very intimidating that you could inadvertently upset her in some fashion for just walking by her door. I never met Mother or Erin that year, as I never left my trailer, and Erin had temporarily left the church, resigning from staff and as a church board member and minister in January 1993. Yet she returned after her mother begged her to return to assist in writing, so she was back in 1994.

Erin Prophet's Training and Contributions to the Community
After Mother's hospitalization in 1988 she was on medication to prevent the seizures. The medication worked and she did not have another grand mal seizure until 1992 when she stopped taking her medication. While on the medication this left her feeling uncomfortable and not sure of herself and her connection to the "masters" and she began to depend on Erin more. Yet while off the medication it left her still unsure because now the seizures returned. I know that my employer asked me a question around 1995 from Mother that presented the doubt she was experiencing. He had told her I was speaking to El Morya, and Mother wanted to know if she was communicating with the real masters and if he would ask me. I did not respond to my employer. No way was I going to validate or invalidate, my guru's messengership!

Erin began training to be a messenger starting 1985, although no one knew, not even her siblings. Some of the community knew something was going on as Erin would be on the altar with Mother sometimes, and it appeared she somehow was connected with all these extraordinary decree sessions we had in 1989 and early nineties, with bizarre imagery of the astral battles occurring around the Ranch. Erin was training to be a seer and channel the "ascended masters. She took her first "dictation" in 1989 and it was through those words she received that the teaching on the 25,800 year returning dark cycle. We were supposedly in the last 12-year cycle of returning karma ending in 2001, and if we thought the last years were bad, wait until this next cycle. Even if nothing happened with the shelter cycle, it could be the end of civilization as we knew it by 2001. Elizabeth incorporated this 25,800 cycle into her lectures and dictations for the rest of the 1990's.

Erin also was responsible for the new shelter preparation dates, as well as what size shelter to build and gave the go-ahead to make it a 7-year shelter for 750 staff, as she acted as a seer for her mother. That information was to cost the Church not only a substantial amount of money, (CBS News estimated it cost 20 million) but also much intense work for staff members, almost around the clock for six months. Her book appears to be an apology for her role especially in the shelter cycle, as well as being a part of other events that controlled people's lives, like the marriages of 100 illegal foreigners who stayed beyond their visa dates. Mother announced that she would accept applications from staff from those who would volunteer to marry the "lightbearers" of Europe after Edward told her the Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) might be planning a raid.

One of my S.U. roommates w from Holland. Her visa had expired and she was linked with a nice man and they got married and moved right next door to us in North Glastonbury, where we moved after selling our land to pay off our debts. They went on to have three boys, one right after the other. Then a woman from Denmark that my husband knew moved into the neighborhood. Around Mother's retirement, she started promoting that the Messenger was false. At that time I was appalled. Here was a woman living in Glastonbury who did not support the teachings or messenger, and she convinced my friend from Holland to reject Mother as not ever having been a valid messenger after she had served the messenger for almost two decades.

After I moved from Glastonbury and Montana I returned for a conference my husband and I gave as messengers and I went to visit her. I was shocked by her appearance and her house condition, which was very messy, and she was still in her pajamas in the middle of the day. The boys were tough to control, especially the oldest, which started with him at a young age. She told me she no longer believed in the messenger and you could see her condition had deteriorated. She had given up her life in Holland with her family, was married to a man that she might not have loved, and her boys were difficult to handle with her passive personality. She was not a fighter, or what in the Teachings we called a "blue ray" chela with God-power and will. The next year she passed away in a hospital from a heart infection that antibiotics could not heal. She had lost her will to live and even her children did not move her with enough love to continue to live. I knew more than anyone else why. When I had my healing practice a few years earlier I worked with her several times. One visit she went back into past lives, something that happened during some of my sessions, and she described several lifetimes where she had committed suicide or did not fight to live, and where she had lost her will to be.

Believing in reincarnation, it made sense that she was put into trying circumstances lifetime after lifetime to bring her to the same point where she would finally make a better choice. But it seemed she still could not. It was sad to see her depression after all the years she devotedly served on staff, decreeing daily and loyal to Mother and the masters, and then for her to find out that the messenger was not who she thought she was. And then doubly traumatic to know she possibly contributed to her death after losing her desire to live, leaving behind her husband and young children.

In 1994 Mother gave birth to a son when she was 55 years old. It was in 1973-74 that she received a dictation proclaiming the Messenger (herself) would give birth to a great avatar. No birth happened before Elizabeth and Randall King divorced and after she married Edward, still no child. At some time beginning around 1993, she began going to a fertility clinic to help her conceive a child. Erin does not mention in her book whether Edward was involved, but former members, Mr. and Mrs. Paolini in their book, 400 Years of Imaginary Friends, stated that "The “miracle” baby was conceived with the assistance of sperm from her husband Ed Francis, an egg from one of Prophet’s daughters, and massive hormone therapy. Elizabeth told the newspapers and congregation that she conceived by a miracle of Mother Mary and she conceived naturally.

Why so many lies over the years that Edward, Erin, Murray Steinman, Church spokesman, and Elizabeth Clare Prophet told the media, the congregation, and the courts while on the witness stand? Every one of them felt that they had no choice, because to tell the truth they believed would cause opposition to their plans, whatever plans they were involved with at the moment: moving their headquarters to Montana, the development of Glastonbury, the purchase of land throughout Paradise Valley, the building of bomb shelters, building septic tanks without permits, disagreement with land usages, hiding the epilepsy so that the church members would trust Elizabeth as messenger; the messenger drinking coffee and eating sugary products while the community was demanded to abstain from such addictive and harmful substances, etc. It was a "the ends justifies the means". They believed that the church had the highest teachings, the direct intercession of emissaries of God, and if they were stopped in any of their endeavors it would wreak havoc in the world because the church, messenger, and teachings were going to save the world from the fallen ones.

Living in North Glastonbury
My husband had become a part of that mentality when he bought his illegal work papers to obtain his green card and to allow he and his family to stay in the United States. In the end it was very destructive to our family, and we suffered greatly for his mistake. It took me years to get my credit back to the high standard I always kept, and we lost our home by having to sell it to pay off the debt. Sometimes we had no money to even buy food. Yet the years of my healing studies and work brought a great pleasure into my world after the shelter cycle and my husband's INS case was closed. As previously mentioned, my husband and I got married the year these marriages occurred in the Church and that contributed to our INS problems.

After selling off our land to pay our debts in 1993 we moved to North Glastonbury and rented a modular trailer that several people had bought and set up in Glastonbury as homes. One couple bought several and put them on their land and rented out rooms to people. They were intially construction offices and consisted of a kitchen, several bathrooms, and eight rooms that were offices. We got permission from the owner to break down one wall and make at least a living room, and then we put in a wood stove. It was not a nice place, nor was the dirt road we lived on with a few other homes and trailers on it.

Soon after the Mandell shooting, we got to move from that trailer we rented. One day a neighbor behind us came to my husband and asked him if he would like to rent their house. Neither of us had ever met the couple, nor were we putting out that we were looking for a new home. Yet I had been sending a message out to the universe and it appears there was a response. Their house (pictured to the left) was right behind our rental trailer but on a different road. I would pass by their house every day and many a time I would say to myself, "I want to live there."

At first, I was ecstatic that we were offered their home, but after my husband and I looked in the windows, since they were out of town and we had no keys, we were shocked. The inside walls were dirty. Some of the kitchen cabinet doors were hanging off their hinges, and my desire to move there was considerably dampened. It had looked like a nice house from a distance. Then the owners gave us a sweet deal of renting for a couple of hundred dollars a month with the agreement we would fix up the place. We couldn't turn down that deal and moved in. We stayed in that house for the rest of our remaining years in Montana. We made it a nice place inside. I put up horse fences and bought some horses, a long time dream I had finally fulfilled, and we finally were saving some money. Yet I did not like North Glastonbury, although I was grateful to be there still in Glastonbury. There were no trees, and after the spring rains, everything turns brown. Nothing much grows in Glastonbury generally, as the growing season was short and there was no rain all summer long.

In high South Glastonbury things were different. At that elevation a few trees and we got to drive through them every day to get to our trailer. I had a huge garden that produced enormous yields and large vegetables. I did nothing to make them grow. No compost, no fertilizers, nothing, except to water them after putting seeds directly in the ground. Considering we could have snow in May and by early September, it was a fantastic yield. The soil was very rich and loaded with earthworms, the most beautiful soil I had ever seen. It was down the hill from our house in a valley, but up at our trailer the soil was like most of the poor soil in Glastonbury. We also had a large flower garden at our trailer and my husband had landscaped it, as he usually did wherever we lived while together. We had built on a room to the trailer, put a greenhouse at the end, made a chicken coop, and added a mudroom and deck, and most of all, we had a gorgeous view of the mountain range and Emigrant Peak. I was very sorry to have to sell our land and move, but it had to be done to pay our debts my husband incurred from his INS case.

Our rental house in North Glastonbury was subject to some fierce winds that whipped through the valley and had no great view. The house was facing south and right in the path of the wind. In the winter the wind would make huge snow drifts up our long driveway, all the way to the garage. We tried snow fences, which helped a bit to help get us to at least get out of the garage, but not down the driveway. The winds would also whip right into the house, so we had to find ingenious ways to keep the house warm. In a way, I loathed the days I used to drive by that house and wish I was living in. It was like God was proving to me, "be careful what you wish for!" While we had a few perks, like having the horses, and also was given a trailer to rent for my healing practice I started there, right behind our house, I had no garden. Eventually, we could no longer take a deduction for our rent because we had no more work left in the house to do in exchange for rent.

Training as Health Kinesiologist
It was quicker to get to church from North Glastonbury though. The drive just to get down the mountain in South Glastonbury would take us fifteen minutes. My husband and I would take turns going to church while the other stayed home with the children. One night I went down for a special service and the Messenger announced that after service one of her secretaries was going to share a new healing technique that she approved of called Health Kinesiology. Before that announcement, we were warned not to use kinesiology, but for some reason, the messenger suddenly had put her stamp of approval on it. The secretary had become certified to teach the training and offered to teach it to us starting a few months later.

For years I had been taking healing classes within the community trying to find my niche in the healing arts. I took several kinesiology courses, and a foot zone therapy course, and I loved them all. Yet when I heard this talk on this course, my heart was burning. It was like every fiber of my being said, "Yes, this is it!" I could not even wait for the course to be taught in our area. I decided to go get the training wherever the next class was being taught.

Thus began four levels of courses all traveling out-of-state to attend. I loved the method. My goal was to become a Health Kinesiologist, not a teacher, and to strictly use it to help people heal their psychologies and bodies, plus I could also help my family and myself. Thus in 1995 I began a new direction in my life that would lead me in places I never dreamed of, and eventually, I appeared to be walking in the footsteps of the messenger I trained under. Yet I had no seeming proclivity to fight battles with unseen forces and prepare for cataclysm, but after years of such indoctrination it became so much a part of my belief system that I did do both. One thing I did have a deep interest in was taking care of the mind and body in the highest manner possible, which included living free from the negative influences of the world and eating healthy foods. This at least was a part of the Ascended Master Teachings and I gained much over the years in understanding how to heal the mind and soul from studying the teachings.

A year after finished four levels of training I quit my job and opened up my practice. I first gave free sessions, then charged $10 a session, eventually staying at $25 for a two-hour session. I maintained two appointments a day, five days a week for a year, all without advertising. My clients would tell others and that was the only advertising. I know that others were charging $75 to $150 for sessions similar to what I was doing, but I was not trying to get rich. My main goal was to help as many people as I could, and I so enjoyed the work I would have done it for free except we did need my help in earning money, and my first husband filed to make me pay him child support after my two children living with me moved in with him when my son turned 16. His sister, who was 12 at the time, wanted to go with him. She was more attached to her brothers than her two sisters who she had lived with in Montana.

One of my clients who was clairaudient told me during her session with me that Sanat Kumara, one of the supposedly high representatives of this part of the universe, wanted to speak to me in my heart. I didn't stop and think twice, but I took out my pen and paper and began to write. It was a few words about my life and Being and my future work for the Brotherhood. Then he ended it with, "Now go Be!" For months I had been getting words through my kinesiology work. We were taught to use word lists, and I would go to a word list and muscle test using my fingers and find what words were connected to the issues a client had. Once in a while the words appeared to form almost a sentence, and I thought that very strange.

The next big step and the turning point in my life was to take greater control of listening to the etheric. I decreed daily with a recording with the messenger, and on that recording, she said we should always keep a listening ear to the angels and masters. One day it occurred to me that I was so busy all the time that I never sat down to listen to God and I would miss God or the angels if they wished to speak to me. I read in some book of someone who would receive promptings on their ear to listen, and I thought it was a great idea. So I prayed to God to prompt me on my ear when heaven wanted my attention. Lo and behold, I started getting this slightly painful pressure on my inner ear. Realizing this was in answer to my prayer I would make a prayer of protection and demand all that was not of God to be gone and then I would wait for another prompting. If I received one I would attune within and listen. That began years of almost daily communication with what I believed were the ascended masters, mainly El Morya for the first two years.

I still had no plans to do anything but my healing practice, since it was going well. I began hearing El Morya once in a while during a session when one of my clients would have a difficult matter that I could not quite see what was going on through the words I was receiving. His words always brought quick success in understanding that which needed to be revealed to the client and led to clearing the blocks to the flow of energy, which was the goal of the sessions. You could clear allergies, mental and emotional blocks causing physical and emotional issues, and find the causes of phobias and uncover hidden memories.

My husband doubted I was in communication with the masters, but after a El Morya suggested I give him my journal of messages to read, he said he agreed with all their personal messages to me, as he had been "trying to tell me the same thing" for years. My husband always felt he was superior to me and that he could see all my "issues" with my psychology, but with the help I received through my sessions on myself I quickly was led to see all my character flaws most lovingly, and you would have no problem understanding why you were doing something or why you should change.

My practice ended in 1997 when we received direction through me from El Morya to move from Montana to Utah. Since four of my children lived in Utah with their father it made sense that if we were to leave Montana moving closer to my children would make my travel time to get them for visits easier. I had been driving from Montana to Utah several times a year to pick up the children for visits, and it would take seven hours one way and then I would turn around and drive the other way for another seven hours. What I did not know was why I was to move. My husband disagreed with moving, and for months would not come around. Messages from the Elohim would gently prompt me that I needed to move by the fall, giving us about six months heads up.

New President - Gilbert Cleirbaut
Concurrently, much was going on in the church. The year before a devoted member from Canada, Gilbert Cleirbaut, was hired as CUT’s president. Cleirbaut was the director of human resources for Union Carbide, British Petroleum, and the government of Alberta, and had great management skills. The church was in serious disarray, both in morale and finances and he began immediately by surveying each department and finding out where the internal losses were occurring. He chose to both cut staff drastically and pare away extraneous projects, and to build up the church in a positive light—and away from fear of end times.

He believed in Mother, but openly admitted the group made mistakes and blamed it on lower management mishandling. Yet in a way, his presence divided the church all the more. He did wonderful things, but it depended on which side of the fence you resided. For the hundreds on staff who lost their positions, it was traumatic. They had no possessions, no money, no retirement funds, and for many they were estranged from their families, and now they were being ousted out and into the world to begin life all over again, when they thought they would spend the rest of their lives on staff, serving the masters and the messenger.

Then there was the hierarchy in the church. Mother was no longer on the Board, resigning as president, remaining only a messenger for a few more years until her retirement. Her children had all left the church except for the youngest who was away at school. Edward divorced her in 1997 and married their nanny. Their son Seth was two and a half and they fought in court with whom would get custody. It was the following year that Elizabeth was diagnosed with Alzheimer disease and Edward got full custody of their son as Elizabeth was in no form to take care of her son with her seizures and impaired mental capacity.

Prior to Cleirbaut's arrival the hierarchy of the Church was the Board of Directors, ileading the administrative affairs with Prophet's husband and children filling those positions; the Council of Elders, in charge of ritual and theology; and the Ministerial Council, in charge of training ministers and teaching. The Board did not make the decisions, the masters did through Elizabeth, although she could say "the masters want us to do it this way" and no one could object. Cleirbaut had an executive board under him, and the Board of Directors was filled by staff members. Soon the Board began to oppose Cleirbaut's suggestions and the executive board. The year Elizabeth announced her disease and retirement Cleirbaut resigned. Many people in the community believed he was made to retire with a small settlement arranged by the Board for keeping quiet, but no one outside of a few members will ever know the truth.

In 1997 Cleirbaut and the Board decided to revoke the code of conduct, thereby eliminating arbitrary dismissals, which happened a lot at the will of Elizabeth, with approval by the masters through her. The messenger announced the change, and that she and El Morya were "going higher" and no longer would El Morya protect the church and chelas. Everyone was responsible for themselves unless they followed the code. Erin revealed in her book that Mother's new seer helped her write that message from "El Morya".

Witness to the Holy Spirit
I happened to see that message as integral to what was going on in my healing practice, and the direction from him to leave Montana a month after receiving the messenger's letter. For a month prior to the messenger's letter things had changed in my practice. I no longer felt the Holy Spirit with every client, but rarely. I felt unsatisfied with my work like I couldn't break through with several clients. What I came to realize was that with El Morya's withdrawal from the community, he also withdrew from my practice, except for those who warranted his intercession. He also wanted me out of Montana because of what broke loose when Mother's illness was revealed the following year. We moved in October 1997 and Mother made her retirement announcement on January 1, 1999.

Although I have no explanation as to why the coincidence with what was going on in my healing practice and the messenger's letter, when there is no real master called El Morya, whoever was working with me that year was not in this world. There was no doubt the Holy Spirit was present and performed miracles before my eyes. It began one night I had a spiritual experience where I was with a group of healers who were being blessed by an archangel. We were to be his hands and feet in the earth, a negative polarity to his positive polarity. The teachings taught Archangel Raphael is the leader of the healing angels. The following day I felt a tingling on both of my feet. The following day my calves were tingling. The next day my thighs. Something was going on. Every day the feeling was rising higher and higher until at the end of the week it had risen to my head. From that day onward I would start to tingle all over in the morning and after my morning session the tingling would be gone. At first, I didn't notice this was happening until one day a client called and canceled their morning session. I noticed that morning I was not tingling all over, and then I knew, it was the Holy Spirit.

Thus I knew the Holy Spirit accompanied me daily. I used to call my chair in my little clinic (a trailer I rented behind our rental house) the magic chair. When clients would sit down in it I never knew what would happen to them. They would see visions, hear their God Self and see their past lives. None of them ever said they usually could hear or see outside of their normal hearing and vision. I too could see. I would receive visions, like a still life photograph, of a scene. And in that scene, I would know the past of everything that happened connected with the scene. I would get this "knowing" along with words to help me know what was going on with the client. All this disappeared with El Morya's withdrawal.

So was this "El Morya" really the Holy Spirit? It was not a devil because there was never any evil happenings that occurred that entire year. And I began to realize while I was helping people, I was helping only one person at a time, with over six billion people on the planet (at that time). How could I help the world situation and more people heal? I don't know if God kept giving me those thoughts, but I had them. Maybe it was part of the church culture that I had been programmed for almost twenty years and we needed to think global. I believed that the messenger was taken away from us because it was time we did more ourselves and not rely on the messenger for all the answers, as many did. Since she was a powerful person, and seemingly would never retire without being forced to, heaven gave her a "mental" disease to take her out of the picture.

One could reason away many inconsistencies in the messenger's messages and leadership, but what about when I became a leader myself? What about the inconsistencies between two messengers who are married? There have always been differences from one ascended master organization to another, and rivalry as one organization and messenger appears before the previous group and messenger retires or passes on, but in the same household? In the next article, as Mother fades from the picture, a division is fomented in the church by the Board of Directors, and splinter groups form. Several messengers appear claiming the Masters sponsored them. Unexpectedly, I become one of them, and so did my husband.


Next: Communication Experiences with the "Masters" - Part I.