Communication Experiences with the "Masters"

Victory Arch, Newport News, Virginia, World War I monument

Part II

Whatever the ascended master teachings taught these beings were called whether El Morya, Elohim, Maha Chohan (the Holy Spirit) or Mother Mary, each presence that I believed were of God taught me through daily guidance. I felt Divine Love and loved. Divine Love is God’s Love for All, it is so all-encompassing that it consumes all unlike itself wherever it contacts unreality. People of all walks of life have called God’s love unconditional love, but oh, how far off have they strayed from the reality of Divine Love to claim they love everyone unconditionally, especially between marriage partners. What so many have experienced as God loving them unconditionally is either a figment of their imagination or something like a near-death experience where they come back and try to describe the love they felt in heaven. What people describe who return from death is that there appears to be no judgment in heaven for their past mistakes, that after their life review they are the ones that judge themselves. I don't believe we have the capacity in human form to love others as God loves us, although Jesus directs us in many ways to learn how.

During my dark night, I got a real estate license and attempted to sell homes. I was only a real estate agent for a year. I sold four houses, not a substantial amount to live from, so I took a job as a bookkeeper working for a company that built amusement park rides. When 9/11 happened, we lost much business. A few months later the master I believed was El Morya told me that I would be laid off in May. I am not sure why he told me, but sure enough, in May the comptroller told me she would have to lay me off with not sufficient work for me to do anymore. That was the last business I ever worked for.

I was on unemployment pay for about a year and at the end of that year I became a messenger for the masters and believed I was working for God. You have to be actively looking for new employment to maintain your unemployment, so I went on my required interviews. The positions were nothing that interested me and the pay was terrible, so although I easily could get most any job I applied for in the past because I knew how to present myself in a good light, that year I did not aim to get hired by anyone and only had one job offer that did not pay much. I never filed with the unemployment office that I had that offer. Although unemployment pay was only half of what I was making while working, my husband was still employed—at least for a few more months. We had no savings because we had invested everything we had to buy our home.

The masters through me were encouraging my husband to leave his employment. At that time he had started writing his first book and started his own inner communication with his "Jesus". By November he quit and tried to get unemployment as well, but he was denied because he was not forced to quit, he chose to. He always found fault with his employers, and this was no exception, although I did not know this about him at the time. I knew he was complaining a substantial amount about his supervisor always overly editing his work (he was a technical writer) but I did not know the hidden pride he carried. I thought his complaints were legitimate. More on his work with his "Jesus" later.

Elohim Guidance
Immediately following the dark night, as explained in part I (more on the dark nights in this article), I began in training with the Elohim after I left real estate and took the bookkeeping job. These beings that I believed were heavenly beings, I felt taught me so much in how to be compassionate and loving, how to pray for yourself and others and understand the true loving IS of God. To me, they are most wonderful cosmic Beings representing Father-Mother God that one could know. They were present with me every morning for months during my prayer work to guide in so many things.

While there is only one God, the biblical writers referred to this one God with many different names. One of these names is Elohim and it is one of the most frequently used names for God in the Scriptures. The word Elohim appears some 2,750 times in the Old Testament. The first verse in the Bible, Genesis 1:1, God, as Elohim, is the Creator, “In the beginning [Elohim] created the heavens and the earth.” It could be that the Elohim I heard was God, communicating to me with different aspects of God Reality. The Summit taught that Elohim are the divine creators of God and that they hold the perfect image of all parts of God, and for all human beings.

The Apostle Paul described 15 characteristics of love to the believers in the church at Corinth. Paul focused on love between brothers and sisters in Christ: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth" (1 Cor. 13:4-6). I believe this is what the words and vibration I received, from that which identified itself as Elohim, gave to me. There was zero judgment. There was no correcting me or pointing out mistakes, as I experienced through El Morya's words and direction over the previous years (yet I loved him very much—or whatever spirit it was in reality.) Through the Elohim, I was taught love in its highest form as patience, forgiveness, gentleness, self-control, faith, joy, peace, the strength of will, and something of a spiritual vision.

At that time I believed in the highest love as holding the "immaculate concept" for everyone and everything God created. Basically, seeing everything in perfection as God originally created in its divine "blueprint". The interesting thing about being in the ascended master teachings was that you acquire a new language, and some words are used in a different context than how they generally understood by others. Other words and their meanings are completely new and the term Immaculate concept was one of those phrases that took on a meaning unique to the Teachings, which initially came from Mother Mary and the Catholic Church.

Mother Mary appeared to St. Bernadette in Lourdes in 1858 and told her “I am the Immaculate Conception.” The doctrine of the Immaculate Conception came from the belief that the Blessed Virgin Mary was born without original sin. "Immaculate" means "without stain", not that Mary was conceived without a human father. Jesus' birth was called a "virgin birth." So the Teachings took from that doctrine and expounded upon the term with their own meaning. Not having been brought up Catholic, I had no idea how it was used in the past, and readily accepted its meaning as the Teachings presented it. We are to hold the immaculate concept for ourselves, that we are our "I AM" Presence and that God holds the immaculate concept for us.

One of the first significant directions that the Elohim gave me once I was out of the dark night was the direction to get hypnotherapy training. I first resisted because we were taught that hypnosis was unlawful and dangerous for the soul. I had to balance a direction that went against the embodied Guru with direction from heaven. Could I be obedient to both? It took me a few days to process the way, which finally led me to research this type of therapy and see what I could ascertain about it. It was then that I discovered a hypnotherapy trainer who taught “alchemical hypnotherapy” with the "masters". He also held weekend training sessions, which would require me to drive to California every other weekend, but I reasoned that was easier than taking off from work.

I felt within that although therapy that uses hypnosis was not lawful for a son or daughter of God to receive, that hypnotherapy training was not using hypnosis, nor was it mesmerism, and this trainer would be the one most likely the right direction for me. As it turned out it was one of the best and most enjoyable directions for my life that I have followed. My experience in both receiving and giving hypnotherapy was that you never lose conscious awareness, instead, it was a light meditative state almost exactly like I had experienced before at the church headquarters during an inner child workshop given by a church minister. With hypnotherapy, the soul or conscious self simply steps back and allows the Holy Spirit to take command, and at any moment our conscious awareness can immediately stop the session and return to full conscious control. 

Over the course of six months, and driving every two weeks to spend the weekend in California for this training, I came away more of an enlightened soul. I felt the healing that occurred within me from just taking the training was phenomenal. I was reborn in the Spirit. I received such a tremendous comprehension about my early childhood traumas and my family relationships. I saw what had separated me from God, and thus my inner relationship with God improved tremendously. When I did the therapy on others it was always with the Holy Spirit right there guiding me, as well as when others practiced on me. So I enjoyed giving sessions as much as I enjoyed working on the inner under therapy myself.

The Elohim taught me how to call to God's light to heal minor ills and discomforts instantly, and also how to listen to animals, which I would later use in my horse therapy school. They appeared to have a sense of humor too. On my way home from one of my hypnotherapy classes, I heard a phone ringing in my car. After first looking around for a phone I suddenly realized, "Wait a minute, I don't have a phone in the car!" It was the Elohim wanting to speak to me.

Later they directed me to a horse they wanted me to have by giving me a vision of her and then I was to go find her. About a month later I found her, the first horse I looked at. She was four years old and not a well-trained horse but neither was I a good horsewoman or well trained! She was going to teach me how to how to divinely love, especially those trapped in fear and pride and stubbornness. The horse was very fearful, rebellious, almost defiant, and did not like humans. I did not consider her negative conditions as acceptable; instead I saw them as entirely unacceptable and sought to assist her to get over those limitations. In refusing to accept her negative conditions, and helping her to overcome them.

Although I saw in the horse what appeared to be the antithesis of love, instead displaying fear, anger, rebellion, stubbornness, revenge, indifference, etc., my direction was to only respond in love. Through this love towards the mare, I was holding the vision to guide her to become peaceful, fearless, sacrificial, and gentle, who would then go on to serve humans. I believe the ultimate goal was to transfer this training to my fellow humankind and aid people caught in these negative expressions outside of Divine Love. I learned from working with this horse how vital it was to love and forgive others, especially those caught in negative spirals. It is a love that desires more for every part of life that continually holds a higher vision for everything and everyone. I tried to love her the same way God loves us who are fearful, rebellious and defiant.

The first training was to get my horse in a horse trailer! That took about a week and taught me much on patience and perseverance. It was a great victory for me to realize how we can patiently work with someone to guide them over their fears. Working with all her other fears and her stubbornness was hard work, and I failed many times, yet I kept trying with some success.

When we sin God still loves us. It is as if he doesn’t see our sinning nature, but only the divine true nature we were created in. Yet he does see it and his angels and heavenly emissaries assist us to overcome that which is not real and cannot be loved. So yet while we are chastened, I believed we are also continually held in the highest image and perfection of who we really are in God.

It was also at that time that I was only a real estate agent for a year. I sold four houses, not sufficient to live from, so I took a job as a bookkeeper working for a company that built amusement park rides. When 9/11 happened, we lost much business. A few months later the master I believed was El Morya told me that I would be laid off in May. I am not sure why he told me, but sure enough, in May my boss told me she would have to lay me off as there was not sufficient work for me to do anymore. That was the last business I ever worked for.

Accepting the Twin Great Divine Director
While my spiritual path had begun in a new way after 1996 when I opened up my inner ear to listening to heaven, it was different after my dark night. Most of the direction I received the following year were words in what I should pray and decree for, and what calls to make during my decrees. I was also encouraged to make calls to God, the angels, and masters, even the elementals, all during the day. Many times I was told to pray for supply, possibly because it was foremost on my mind that I wasn't earning any income from my healing work because of the Mormon environment restricting my finding clients, and because my unemployment would eventually end. While income never improved that year, after we became messengers we received a $20,000 inheritance from a student of ours who died of cancer. I suggested to my husband that we give it to our non-profit charity, and after that, I never had to worry about money and supply.

Whether that abundance in our world was a result of my prayers and calls I do not know. Another call I was often directed to make was to call forth light and the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Frequently I was told to learn how to garner that light of God, which meant don't squander it by misusing your voice or entertaining negative emotions. Having the inner guidance was like having your own spiritual parent always with you. It would not always be the same parent, however, as I would be handed to a different master after the previous one had God-taught me something I needed to learn for my future work.

So it was in the early years that I began with El Morya and God Power, learning to always follow God’s Will, and then to the Elohim and then with a being who was called Mighty Victory. His flame, that we were told he garnered after graduated from earth's schoolroom, was in embodying victory. He taught me how to work through problems all the way to the victory. Sometimes it would take months, where I would have to go against some bureaucratic system and fight to win, eventually having a victory because I would not give up and where I learned to hold the vision you want until it manifests. Thus I learned how to hold God Vision no matter what appears before you.

For some reason my inner guidance wanted me to learn about individual uniqueness that everyone of God is. I was given that this is called God flames. Teaching "being one with your God flame" would become one of the first important steps I was to share with people in my messengership work. Shortly after I began hearing the Elohim again they told me that the Great Divine Director was my twin flame. As previously mentioned in my "More Holy Spirit Experiences" article, I believed my twin flame was ascended from an inner experience I had while listening to a live dictation while attending a New York City conference in 1985. The dictation was about twin flames from a being the Summit called the Lady Master Venus. At one point she said she was bringing those in the audience with ascended twin flames inner contact with them. At that moment I felt an enormous amount of pressure and Light descend from above all around my form surprising me that my twin flame was ascended. I had previously never felt Light so tangibly drop around my body as from that experience. I knew it was not of this world.

As the years past, I never gave it any more thought, except to know I did not need to look on earth for that twin flame relationship. I had been divorced for a year after twelve years of marriage and having four children and I was happy to be single and happy with my life. I had children, my life was filled with serving, running a study group for the Ascended Master teachings and holding prayer services. I did not feel incomplete and needing or wanting a marriage relationship. Thus this experience with a twin flame ascended gave me the outer conviction that my decision to remain single was the right one—or so I believed. Yet my future was to marry again. I believed after I met my husband in Montana that he was more like a soul mate, a person you work with together on missions from one lifetime to the next. Thus he was more like a brother to me, and a friend, than a lover. I felt like I knew him before and I often would look at his face and exclaim to myself that his face was so familiar but I could not remember where I knew him before.

So it was over a decade later from that twin flame conference in 1985 that I was given that this spiritual being who was my twin flame was the Great Divine Director. My outer mind rejected the idea, as I did not think an ordinary person such as myself could have an ascended master twin such as the Great Divine Director, whom the Summit taught was the teacher of Saint Germain, Jesus, and El Morya. So I usually nodded my head and said "Okay" and then forgot about it. Finally, the Elohim expressed to me that if I did not accept him as my twin flame I would be refusing our divine path and work together. I could not fathom rejecting an ascended master and I so I had to put my doubts aside and accept this master as my twin.

I had a substantial amount to learn about myself, as with most of us we are not really being our true selves but often replicas of our parents or other people, or just afraid to be who we really are. I was to discover this and more through my coming to know this spiritual Being, the Great Divine Director. Thus the Elohim guided me to accept my spiritual twin, the twin connection through the flame of divine direction. When I accepted this twin relationship, the Great Divine Director began working with me and under his prompting, I began giving "divine direction messages" to anyone who asked for direction from him through receiving a dictated message from what I heard within.

Although I said to heaven, "I accept that the Great Divine Director is my twin flame," I wrote articles over the years where I shared with the community that I was not the only twin flame of the Great Divine Director. As I understood it, this title of "great divine director" was given to a cosmic being because he held the mantle of mastery in overseeing and directing God's will, and we all could become twin to that mantle if we too became one with God's will and divine direction. It was embarrassing to me to share with others this relationship that was revealed to me, so I did my best to downplay it. Thus it appeared I never really believed I was this twin flame, but I also felt I needed to be obedient to the direction because it was important to me to be obedient to God's will.

The Holy Spirit
I then began hearing from the Maha Chohan, who was believed to have embodied the mastery of the seven rays of God and the Holy Spirit. The Maha Chohan sent me on a trip up and down the East Coast. It was a powerful experience where I learned from him how not to follow every direction. After weeks of training, I finally dared to oppose one of his directions.

Following the Holy Spirit means sometimes no words, but an inner knowing that leads to victory after victory. So I had those lessons as well. He told me one day to go to Newport News, Virginia and anchor the victory flame (that I had garnered from my work with Mighty Victory, but he did not tell me this.) So I drove to the city line, got out of the car and made my calls. Not knowing what else he was wanting me to do there I started driving through the city where I soon found myself in the worst part where I was told from some locals that many bullets fly around from gangs and such and you needed to be careful.

Then amidst this ghetto area, I look to my right and there was this large arch. We decided to stop and see what it was. It was the Victory Arch, a war memorial to World War I armed forces, originally built in 1919. I got out of my car and with tears in my eyes, made more calls in this beautiful place of Victory right amid this decaying part of the city. There was an eternal flame burning before the arch and a commemoration plaque and all the names of the soldiers who had lost their lives for the cause of freedom. Then I knew this was the place the Maha Chohan was testing me to find without telling me my real purpose for going to Newport News and to anchor victory.

I had many more of those experiences driving through New York City without a map (this was before GPS was widely available to the public) and through Washington D.C. without a map. In New York City we found the World Trade Center gravesite, where we stopped and I made calls for the souls who died there; and in D.C. we found The Second Division Memorial in the middle of D.C. It looked like a huge Archangel Michael sword, but in reality it s a memorial commemorating those who died in the Army, and later dedicated also for battle honors of World War II and the Korean War. I believe both of these places I was meant to go to and find through my allowing the Spirit within to inwardly guide me without words. This would soon reveal the importance of these lessons, as I would be cut off from all spiritual hearing for some holy purpose.

This passing from one of these "masters" to another was not apparent to my outer awareness. No words told me what any master was doing with me, their purpose with me, or when or why they appeared or disappeared in my world. I could only see the pattern in retrospect many years later. El Morya was not entirely gone from my inner world, but other ascended masters were taking precedence for long periods of time. I came to realize, while working with the Great Divine Director, that he was working with me to assist me in learning how to give divine direction to others, but more, that I will explain shortly. I had already been receiving much divine direction in my life beginning with El Morya's direction. Now I would start giving out direction to those who wanted it. Unfortunately, my husband received many directions he did not solicit or want from me. We had become celibate, moved to Utah, and later to New York, under this divine direction, but he also had to receive direction on his path and service he had begun the same year I began working with the Great Divine Director.

The Hidden Things Revealed
My husband became the first revelation to me that many people in the world did not want heavenly direction. He gradually withdrew from me, but without saying a word. It was his modus operandi to stay silent and not reveal his true feelings unless provoked to a level he could not sustain that silence any longer. He believed in unconditional love, and stating truths and letting people do with it what they wanted. Thus I received his unconditional love, quite a bit of it, where he rarely stated his objections until he couldn't take it any longer and would let loose his feelings. This would happen periodically over the years. Sometimes he would go an entire year resenting (without admitting to himself that he did) something I was doing before he would reach his limit of endurance and then "lovingly" accuse me of some action I had done or was doing that was wrong, such as cooking him broccoli frequently when he really hated the vegetable, or even accusing me of thinking, feeling and acting certain ways that I believed merely weren't true.

In the early years of our marriage, the first shocking accusations against me was with the criticism that I did not love him because I did not communicate with him. The following year the scene replayed itself with the same accusations against me. Although I tried to solicit from him what was bothering him in how I was not communicating, he could not tell me. I believe he knew, but you cannot tell someone you want their attention and adoration, and that was what he wanted. He needed a feminine to adore him, most especially a wife, and I was not the adoring type that he envisioned he had married.

I began with listening to him often, but then as children moved in with us and a baby was born, my attention went more to just maintaining a family and trying to earn a living after he lost his U.S. work permit. He wanted me to ask him questions as an avenue he could then reveal his greatness to me without his doing so without solicitation. While I did love him and thought he was great in so many ways, I was not the "adoring" feminine type sitting at the knees of their masculine counterpart. He appeared to only feel loved when he received this adoration. So eventually in time, he felt denied of this attention and eventually "stuffed" his need and focused on becoming a renowned teacher to the world, a dream he had all his youth. He dreamed of being a famous writer (today he has written over 50 books but no bestsellers) and even prime minister for his home country. So unbeknownst to my outer mind, we were not on the same path or page. We lived side-by-side quite harmoniously, but his inner criticism of me was always there under the surface.

This hidden criticism appeared one day after we both were starting the path of being messengers. My husband had not come with me while I was away on my East Coast trip, only three of my children and two grandchildren. Initially, we all were going to drive together in our van, but after being guided by the Holy Spirit to get my van checked over, the engine blew while at the mechanics. We had to have a new engine put in and so I was directed to fly out and rent a car, and that is when my husband decided not to go with us.

While we were gone he had started writing from whom he claimed was the Great Divine Director, and later, Jesus. He had started a novena to the Great Divine Director, a Summit Lighthouse ritual we were recommended to do several times a year. After decreeing you should write down your thoughts, supposedly inspired from the Great Divine Director. Quickly my husband left off writing down his thoughts from the Great Divine Director and "Jesus" appeared and began communicating with him. He claimed to be my husband's personal teacher in this life. This "Jesus" asked him to start a website and write a book. The website would be "Ask the real Jesus", a question and answer website where this Jesus would answer people's questions that they would write into the website.

We were not messengers then, although he technically was a messenger for his Jesus. I thought I would test the waters and see what this Jesus of his would say about my path because I felt something was off with his answers he claimed were from Jesus. Since I had all the divine direction I needed through my daily inner communication for years, I thought it would give me not only some insight into his new path but my own in whether I was receiving right direction. At that time my husband did not take dictations, but sat at his computer and wrote what he believed was Jesus' thoughts.

The first thing that surprised me was to what extent I disagreed with this “Jesus”. I ended up scribbling notes all over the 8-page answer either agreeing or disagreeing with his words. Some words were telling me I had issues with my mother, that I was the cause of the downward spiral between my mother and I because I rejected her love, that I had attachments to results, that I for lifetimes had felt abandoned by God, that I couldn’t accept God’s love for me or my husband’s love, that I was in a trap of believing I had no more psychological issues, that I was the same type of authoritarian infallible leader that Guru Ma was and that I couldn’t see that others were trying to tell me this, and that if someone was not in complete agreement with me I believed they were against me, and on and on. 

Then I was told my husband was the rock of Christ that Jesus would build his Aquarian church on and that if it wasn’t for my husband’s balance and harmony we would have severely clashed in our relationship long ago. If I had had any belief that my path was divinely inspired and my direction pure, I was disabused of such a notion after reading what his master thought my problems were.

One of the first questions I had asked was for some direction in whatever he saw about me he would like to share with me about my being the bride of Christ, another new interpretation that the Church gave us. The bride of Christ, we were taught, is an office that one is to seek whereby the soul eventually attains to that office, and until she does she is not whole, nor has she fulfilled her reason for being. Christians generally believe the term means the "church" is the bride of Christ.

What I received back through my husband was a list of assignments to do because his "Jesus" said I had a significant issue in rejecting the Father and my I AM Presence as the masculine polarity to my soul, and that I found it impossible to forgive God. He said I didn’t trust men, beginning with the relationship with my physical father.  Where he was heading with this reasoning was that I was too masculine. I was told to consider that my soul decided to be masculine in and by herself because she couldn’t trust the masculine. And I was to consider that I had pride being independent of the masculine polarity of being and that I looked down upon the masculine. I was to consider that I had three husbands who I never let wear the pants in the family and although the first two husbands weren’t trustworthy this one I was married to now was very trustworthy.

It was suggested I write down my responses and then his Jesus would respond back to them. I honestly felt that my husband’s thoughts had written that answer and this was not the real Jesus. So I did not respond. At the heart of this message to me was the belief that I was too masculine and did not trust or listen to my husband or his suggestions. He saw my will, divine direction, trust in my communication with the masters over my husband's suggestions, as proof that I had issues with the masculine.

Power was the bone of contention here, not only with my having God Power, but God Power generally, going back to my husband's rejection of the Old Testament God, which he believed was this “angry God in the sky” unreal God. Despite this clear negative view of me I completely put it out of my mind and went on loving him and holding the "immaculate concept" for him that indeed he was one with the Christ. 

One thing I knew for sure about my relationship with God was that I loved God very much and had been talking to him from a young child. I never felt abandoned by God, not once my entire life. I loved El Morya very much, who represented Father to the Summit students, (he was supposedly the patriarch Abraham in a previous lifetime) and I respected his advice highly, both as a father figure and as representative of God's will and power. I loved my physical father very much, and highly adored him throughout all my youth. What my husband could not tolerate was a woman having any masculine traits. This he despised in Guru Ma, and thus had little or no respect for her, which came out in several of his comments on his website over the years. He did not like women to have any divine direction, let alone God Power. He did not mind a woman having wisdom, as long as she realized his wisdom was greater. I also never rejected my mother's love, she just never displayed love for me. There was little to no affection shown to me all my youth.

So most of his "Jesus" advice was wrong and clearly appeared to be my husband's psychological problems with women not what he believed an image of a real woman should be. I never wholeheartedly believed his Jesus answers over the years because of those responses supposedly from the real Jesus. I reasoned that he had a mission and I trusted God and the masters that our association together somehow made his work right with God and that his work had to do with a certain type of people he was supposed to be reaching. I eventually saw that most of the internet followers of his were very prideful, egocentric people or that they were often very wounded, and psychologically unbalanced.

While my husband was working with his Jesus and me with the Great Divine Director and the Maha Chohan, I occasionally had other cosmic beings, one claiming to be Sanat Kumara (the Lamb in Rev. 14) and the other Alpha communicating with me on my future work for the Great White Brotherhood (saints robed in white in Revelation.) While Christians believe “The Alpha and the Omega” refers to Jehovah God, the Almighty, the Teachings claim Alpha is the highest manifestation of God in the Great Central Sun (the center of cosmos) and Omega is his counterpart. They focus the beginning and the ending of all cycles of life and represent our highest known manifestation of Father-Mother God.

Becoming a Messenger
The cosmic being Sanat Kumara gave me a dozen angels to command. He came to me in a concert I was attending in Utah. I was taken to him by the Great Divine Director. Although I did not see him, I sensed a vision of him as he talked with me. He asked me if there was anything I needed. I could not think of anything so I responded no. Then he said he was giving me the angels to command. When I heard from Alpha he asked me to bring teachings on the "One" to mankind, though I had no specifics, nor any concepts of my own on what "oneness" was.

I was training to be a messenger for the Great White Brotherhood, although I had no outer awareness of that at that time, as I previously mentioned. I began my work with the Great Divine Director to bring to others a greater comprehension of their own divine path, as I began for the first time to practice taking dictations, although to me I saw them just as messages. Thus those years in Utah were filled with many tests, as I worked on the inner with these heavenly beings who all had different names and personalities (or God flames). Then one day I was asked to be more. Could I take myself up to the level of being a messenger for the Great White Brotherhood? I had been taking messages for myself for years, but could I do it for other people and gain their trust and faith that I was truly communing with heaven?

We see this pattern in previous messengers. Geraldine Innocente took messages for about seven years before she finally claimed she was a messenger. Mark Prophet took messages for a couple of years before he announced he was a messenger. Elizabeth trained under him for a couple of years before she started taking dictations. Simultaneously, Mary Baker Eddy was channeling at séances, so was a man called James Padgett. When his wife died he tried to contact her through a Spiritualist group and supposedly succeeded. He was told he too could be a medium. He tried and succeeded and for the following nine years took 2,500 messages from dead relatives, friends, and Jesus. He was an attorney, and initially was very skeptical, but time and again information came through the messages that only he knew. The interesting thing on his Jesus messages was that Jesus was telling him he was the chosen one to deliver the truth of his life to mankind. It seems quite a common theme that we hear through one messenger after the other. My husband's Jesus claimed he would reveal the truth, even that above the Summit Lighthouse and that he supported Jesus as his brother in his ministry, and now Jesus would serve to support my husband in his ministry in this life.

My receiving direction or information I could not accept as entirely true came about several times during those years. I was given some outlandish messages before and after my messengership began. One that came just after was that I would win the lottery. First, I never played the lottery. Finally, a friend bought me a ticket as he was trying to assist us to start our mission and knew we needed money. Of course, I did not win from that ticket. I would reason that heaven was trying to get me to see things about myself, or lead me in a direction I would not have gone without their input, however erroneous or misleading was their message. In that sense, it was difficult to trust these messages and their source. While I was getting messages for myself there was only my family involved and the guidance mostly appeared to be sound, especially with what to do with one of my rebellious daughters. All the advice I took from these masters over the years helped tremendously to not only guide her but help me deal with the devil that would often use her to torment me. When I began taking Great Divine Director readings for people, things began to get more uncomfortable. No way I could know whether his guidance was accurate or not, as many of the individuals I did not know that personally. Then, when I became a messenger, what I shared was public knowledge and no longer just about what I was doing in my life.

It was at the end of the year in 2002 that I was driving through the Wasatch Mountains, the mountain range across from where we were living in Utah when the Great Divine Director spoke to me from within and announced that I was to be the next messenger for the Ascended Masters. I was not asked directly, but somewhat indirectly through several things that preceded his announcement. After months of working with him, he gave me an assignment to fast for eight days and then go off by myself for the last couple of days. The next was when he came to me and asked me to write to the heavenly beings and ask if there was anything I could do on earth that would assist the onward movement of Light.

Thus I was thrust into something way beyond my capabilities, I believed, as well as beyond my comfortability, not being a very public person because of my quiet and shy nature. Yet Geraldine Innocente was not a public person either and wrote messages from El Morya under a pen name, Thomas Printz. She was told she was the twin flame of El Morya. Not much information can be found on Geraldine because she was a private person, and although she brought forth a huge body of work that became foundational teachings to the Summit Lighthouse, she did not go around the country putting on conferences or lectures. I gathered as much information I could on the Bridge to Freedom and published an article about the movement in order that we can further understand the truth about these "ascended masters."

My personal experience with being a messenger for these masters, as well as my husband, and others in the community after Elizabeth Clare Prophet's retirement, will continue in my next article.

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