When Is A Husband to Be Head Over a Wife?


Recently, I read an article about what is the meaning of the Biblical passage found in Ephesians 5:22-24 "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands."

Thankfully, the understanding of this passage is easily understood but the ability to live this passage in a marriage is not. Thus, this is the topic that I will devote to in this article. It is my inner understanding that this topic is very important. God wants us to understand how and why we have failed, whether as a husband or as a wife. 

Now I have been in the position of being a wife, eleven years with my first marriage, and twenty years in my last marriage. I am guided to share my story as an example of how I fell, leaving off the relationship I had with God and His guidance to letting my first husband be the head of me as his wife and in my last marriage believing my husband had Christ as his head. 

First Marriage
I was almost twenty when I got married to my first husband. I graduated from high school when I was seventeen and worked for a year and then started college the following year, where I met my future husband. I was a very independent person, starting from an early age. If I was unwell, hurt, needed something, or needed to make a decision, I did so from inner reliance and knowing. It was not a conscious decision that I would do this, I just did. If I hurt myself I kept it to myself. If I was sick I kept it to myself. When I was young I did not have the expertise or money to heal myself, that came later, yet I would not go to anyone for help, medication, or treatment once I was old enough to know how to keep it to myself. I could not say then why I did this. That would take years of getting to know myself before I understood why.

Likewise, for making decisions I did not have a discussion with myself as to what I was going to do, I just knew or just did something without hesitation. In high school I knew what career I was going to begin after graduation and that I was going to get married and have four children. I was wrong in the total number (six) but right in how many I had with my first husband (four). I went into the career I chose right after graduating utilizing the skills I had learned in school. Although my main career choice was psychology and healing, I did not hesitate to begin work first with the secretarial skills I learned in school. 

One day I got the inner prompting that it was time I went to college and start my psychology degree. I chose not to go to my local community college but attend one that was fifty miles away. I bought myself with the money I had saved from working a used little Renault and I loved driving it every week to college. I loved going to college as well, although previously I detested going to school, from about seventh grade on up after I decided school was tedious and boring. College was different as I was more in control of what I wanted to learn than middle and high school. 

I also got the prompting to join a club, something I had never done in high school. It was a sailing club although I had no sailboat! My father was a sailor and had his boat and the idea to join this club just seemed right. It was at the first meeting I met my future husband. We were linked up together because he had a small catamaran and I had no boat! 

On our first sail together I knew he was the one that was going to be special to me. In two weeks I felt I was in love with him. I also did not attend any more club meetings after that! By the second semester I had moved out of my childhood home and rented a place by myself so I could be nearer where my boyfriend lived. We had been dating since our first sail together and he seemed to be as crazy about me as I was for him. He wasn't interested in marriage or a commitment he just wanted us to live together. I did not want to lose him and I felt myself succumbing to temptation for the first time and going against my Christian upbringing and inner knowing. So for some reason in this decision, I talked to my mother and she said, "Absolutely not!" I easily went with her guidance to help strengthen me against this temptation although I was deeply saddened when he left for greener pastures during the summer break, seeking out an old girlfriend living in another state. He later said he wanted to make sure his relationship was over with her in his mind before committing to me. He was only gone a month when he called me one day and asked me to marry him. We got married a few months later. 

I have written a little about this marriage and experience here. My husband was very intelligent and I believed he had what was akin to a photographic memory. I was impressed with this intelligence especially since it did not run in my family or myself. So without any forethought, I  let go of relying on God's guidance that came naturally from within. I did not realize at that time what real wisdom is. Here I share my emotional state that took me out of Being, for the most part. I had little bits of this 'knowing' still come to me during our marriage, thank God. The first one came to me right after we were married when I received the words, "Do you love this man?" I cannot explain why I did not question those words and where they came from. Maybe, because it was so natural in my youth to have this guidance I gave those words that day little questioning. Maybe I replied to myself, "Of course I do! Why else would I have married him?" Yet, I don't think so. I do believe those words were given not for that moment as much as for the future understanding of why we came together.

My first marriage taught me that I would easily adapt myself to the man's needs and wants because I wanted the love I believed he had for me. I could still say no to some things he wanted me to do, but generally, I did whatever he asked. How I let him replace my relationship with God as my head I can understand today, but it took me a long time to see what I had done. One example was in our first months of marriage was when he would smoke marijuana with our new neighbors. I declined and would just sit among them as they laughed and had a good time getting high. Yet in other things, like what I should wear or my hairstyle, was what he wanted. He introduced to me sexual practices that I did not like, yet I did for him. I did not like alcohol and would force myself to have wine with him or drink a little when we would go to a party together. 

We lived on a Navy base for four years and I had stopped going to church because there was only a non-denominational base chapel and a Bahamian church off base that was much different than any church service I was accustomed to. So I decided just to read the Bible on my own. Although we had gotten married in my church for some unknown reason we never discussed religion together. Thus it was years before I discovered he considered himself an agnostic. I was shocked. How could I have not known this for all the years we were together?

It was probably five years into the marriage before I heard that inner voice again tell me to let go of trying to heal him. He had a serious case of childhood asthma that was still adversely affecting him sometimes, mostly when we lived outside of the warm climate. I just knew I could help him heal this condition but when I heard those words I completely let it go. I received that he wanted this illness. I knew I could not fight against that. He had learned how to manipulate people through his illness and some part of him saw it as advantageous to get what he wanted.

After that enlightenment, I began to mature and slowly start to release his control over me. We moved to Gainesville, Florida so that he could start a new career and get a degree in computer systems as an analyst. It was there that I was led to find the teachings of the ascended masters and soon afterward a couple who were members of the Summit Lighthouse moved in across the street from us. 

I got my husband to attend one function of the new group but he was not interested. I, on the other hand, was totally on fire to learn everything I could about this new teaching and to join every activity and service they had locally. To say that our relationship was changed by my newfound interest is an understatement. I was changed from the girl who fell madly in love and gave away her being to please her husband into someone who was on fire to please God first. I started to give up all the practices that were ungodly ranging from not wearing red to drinking alcohol or taking any food or drink that could be addictive. He was no longer the head over me, that position belonged to God. 

Those were tough years as I struggled to keep our relationship together with three small children and wanting to give them a healthy upbringing that included a father and mother living together. My husband grew angrier and angrier with me and it was coming out so much so that I could not sleep at night or had nightmares. He said to me one day that I loved God more than him. I was in tears because in my eyes there is no competition with God and anyone else. Yet, for my husband with no God, there was. 

Returning to Being
Two years of tumultuous living and separations we could not resolve the gulf between us. I was not giving up God again, or so I thought. It took another year and a half to get through a divorce. Meanwhile, while separated, I still managed to get pregnant with our last and only daughter together. Yet, once our divorce was finalized I felt amazingly free. I was buoyant and joyful and could not keep a smile off my face. I tried to see why I felt so free and I saw some of the things I had done, and he to me, that made me feel like I had to do everything he wanted. One of the freedoms I really loved was being able to worship God without having to feel guilty that my prayers were offensive to another and having to hide my prayer time or that my time away from him attending services was selfish.

One day I realized that I had to move to Montana where the Summit headquarters had moved to. I knew it would not be easy because of the children and custody, or it being financially easy to support myself, yet I was at peace. It was my destiny and I would get there. Four years later I knew the time was now. I must earnestly work to make it happen. The Holy Spirit was guiding me as probably the source of the guidance I received when younger. I was growing more in touch with the Spirit as I prayed and ran a study group and held services many times a week over those years. I had returned to that place of 'knowing' where I moved with the Spirit in the larger events in my life—and Montana was my destiny.

Then I was there. I was ecstatic. I wanted to be the bride of Christ and I moved to Montana to improve what I knew. Yet hidden from my inner knowing was another plan and a major test for me. Now that I was moving with the Holy Spirit and God was the head of my life what would I do if I was married and my husband also lived for God? As Scripture said, was the man still the head over the wife? 

God Had A Plan
Thus it was that I met my future husband at my workplace and he sought me out for a relationship, even though he was still married. This did not sit well with me but I also felt that God was in control and I would not stand in the way with my human decision making. When I questioned this man on this he responded that he was already pursuing a separation and I was not the cause. The story of our relationship covers several previous articles one here and here. What I did not previously cover was how did we make decisions? Kim came to Montana because he and his wife wanted to be at the heart of the church and Kim wanted to become a major part of that leadership. They gave up everything in Denmark to move to America. Likewise, I risked losing custody of my children in moving to Montana. By the grace of God, I did eventually get custody but it was not a given until five months after I made the move and legal intervention. I went because I received the words to "go to Montana without the children". Not the words, go, and they will follow. I had no guidance that if I went the children would surely follow.

So both of us knew sacrifice in our move to Montana. Kim asked me to marry him a few weeks after starting a relationship with me. I did not know love for him at that time, I only felt peace in saying yes. It was something in my heart and I let my heart guide me. Yet it was not love of Kim that was guiding me, at least not from conscious awareness. I trusted and had faith that God was giving me this peace for a reason to move ahead in the direction I was being drawn to go.

Our first year was okay, even though I got pregnant right away. The second year was tougher and the third year was very stressful, as that is when the Immigration and Nationalization Service (INS) took away his green card and tried to deport him on illegal papers he had signed saying he had legally worked in Mexico when he had not. It took another two very stressful years to finally resolve that case when he agreed to sign a plea bargain and tell them everything he knew about the church (Summit Lighthouse) and their activities, especially in regards to marriages with foreigners. 

We had already had problems in our marriage. The first year I was under a lot of stress being pregnant, newly married, a new job, a new home, the child custody case, and the pressure against us, especially me, for supposedly breaking up Kim's marriage with his first wife. Somehow I started taking out that stress on Kim and treating him unkindly at times. While I did that all he appeared to do was forgive and love me in return. That experience was very important, because it set the tone of the rest of my years with Kim. I put him on a pedestal as Christ for his humble, loving responses to whatever I did. I also was healed of some unconscious belief that I was not worthy of true love. This belief helped propel me into the sacrificing of my relationship with God for my first husband because he loved me. While I knew God loved me, I did not physically or emotionally experience God's love while I did feel and experience being loved by my husband. Thus, I would do anything to keep experiencing that love and feeling loved and needed. I believe that came from my upbringing and the undemonstrative parental care I received.

So it was that I put Kim on a pedestal all the years we were married. While I knew he was not perfect I placed no matter on anything he did outside of his pedestal. First, he had done this illegal activity that caused great strife for the family. There were times we had no money for food. My credit cards were maxed out and there was no way we could even pay the minimum payments. My good credit was ruined and we had to sell our home. I never once entertained that this was all Kim's fault. I felt he was unjustly treated. Likewise, he also felt like he was unjustly treated and he offered me no apologies for what his actions caused our family in hardships.

Somehow he had been fooled into seeing me as someone I was not when we first met and worked in the same company. I wore dresses and skirts and had long hair and looked attractive and feminine. I came from Florida and we always wore skirts and dresses to keep cool. Then came my pregnancy and winter and the cold that I knew not the likes of. I began to live in pants. When I cut my hair short it was rejected and Kim let me know it. He began to comment on my baggy, wear-around-the-house clothes. He thought the girl that could spend hours talking with him about his life and interests before our marriage was the way I would always converse with him. When he discovered that I was really a quiet person and did not ask questions about his interests, nor volunteered much about mine, that I really didn't love him after all. I also did not ask him for advice. I knew what to do as I had done before and I was not about to give that up and pretend and ask my husband for advice.

Then came the major decisions in our life. We made major moves from state to state three times during our marriage and all those decisions came through me from heaven. When to sell our homes and for what price and where to live and what to buy were mostly from my inner direction. While he had his own inner direction, he claimed, it really only involved his personal choices and not about family life or our circumstances. He was guided in choosing me to pursue by his inner guidance and I do believe that was God-inspired because it was our destiny to come together and the major reason I was given the push to move to Montana and when. 

What Was Our Purpose Together?
So what was our purpose together? I do not believe he loved me beyond an infatuation with what he believed I was. When I did not conform to his image of who he thought I was he learned to adapt himself after realizing he could not change me, although he tried at first. His trying was through very subtle hints that went over my head, as it was meant to. I had already made my decision upon my first divorce that I would not put any man or husband before God again. While I was not about to do that I also placed Kim on a pedestal that helped me ignore what I should not have ignored. I believed I ignored those hints because I did not want to believe that Christ was not the head over my husband. That would have meant that he was not the Christ I thought he was. Yet, I was going to have to come to that conclusion eventually. I was going to have to see that even a Christian man may not have the real Christ leading him.

Kim gave me no thanks or credit for the positive effects of our moves or the direction we received through me. While not every direction was accurate or from God, I believe, the ones that were guided from the Spirit and brought success and victories, only instilled a greater love and faith in me to continue with God at my helm. Ten years into our marriage we both became "messengers" for the ascended masters. This is previously discussed in the article link above. Kim was sure that Jesus was his brother and that Jesus was making Kim almost as important as Jesus' life where Kim was told that he had supported Jesus. Now Jesus was supporting Kim, he was told. Hence, the Ask the Real Jesus website was born where Kim took answers supposedly from Jesus on every conceivable subject, if it was not the real Jesus but a New Age impostor of Jesus how could I support his leadership? Later Kim began the channeling of all the other "ascended" masters. I knew the marriage could not survive if I did not believe who my husband believed was Jesus. Then, there was my direction which Kim could say was impostors.

I could never understand why I could not give live dictations as Kim and other previous messengers could and did. I could write hundreds of messages I audibly heard in my inner hearing but I could not have them speak through me. I was embarrassed and grateful at the same time that I could not give dictations (although I have given a painful handful) and that Kim did. Yet I was the first one to begin taking dictations the year we became messengers. It was like heaven was always using me to break the ice and propel us forward in a new direction. I took those dictations in private. When I tried to take my first dictation, under inner guidance, with others present, nothing came out. I was a blank slate. Then the next day upon awakening and praying I took my first one. I was utterly mortified in publishing what I received. They were ridiculously immature and unsophisticated. Yet many of those first sixty dictations covered Being. A term I had never heard until I became a messenger. It became my motto from then on. God wants us to Be and in Being, be who we really are. 

So I began teaching Being and eventually opened up the School of Being the year Kim and I separated. Kim did not like what I taught or had any interest whatsoever in what came through me. It was like we were on different planets while living in the same house together! We were not together, not from the moment we became messengers. I had this belief that Kim was teaching a different audience and state of consciousness and I made excuses for what I heard, as remember, he was the Christ on his pedestal and he could not possibly be teaching something untrue. What he thought of my teachings he unabashedly said nothing. Actions speak louder than words. He simply disappeared when I spoke or taught, if he could disappear, if not, I would still notice he was not supporting me. He clearly did not want anything to do with what I taught, yet, some of my concepts introduced became part of his repertoire of teachings, such as the concept of "more". Yet when they were taken up by Kim they were changed into a different meaning.

Slowly, almost unperceptively, concepts were creeping into his teachings that were entirely opposed to the traditional ascended master teachings. I continued to make excuses but when it came to the introduction of the "Conscious You" I put my foot down. Suddenly, the soul was the bad guy and this "Conscious You" was the real you. People that were attracted to this new "you" were not the kindest people on this planet. We began to have problems with people doing ungodly things to each other, and it appeared to me, so openly prideful. One man close to Kim boasted to him that he had had sex with three hundred women. The triangle around him went to some other men and involved negative treatment to women in our group. Kim felt there was nothing wrong and I, from my inner guidance, could not stand by and witness ill-treatment of anyone. 

Kim and I grew more divided as he began to believe I caused conflict among people challenging their actions and behavior. His motto was to do nothing and let people do whatever they want. The most important thing to him appeared to be to get his teachings out, selling his books and letting people do with his teachings whatever they wanted. 

God's Plan for Marriage
If we return to the original Bible verse, and other similar verses taken from letters written by St. Paul, God had and has a plan for men and women, and especially the marriage relationship when a man and woman come together. Most everyone knows that the male and female are different in their mental and emotional responses to life. Men and women are also built differently and have different roles to play in life. The major role for men is to be the strength and power, protector, and provider for their family. Women are not physically built for muscular strength. Their strength is often found in their ability to emotionally care for others, especially their children. They are also built to be more morally and spiritually attuned to Spirit and to freely express their caring by openly expressing love and sharing their spiritual and moral character. Men often make decisions from their mental capacity and appear to have this wisdom of the mind. 

This is not to say that these attributes are strictly for men or strictly for women. There are many who develop the opposite sex characteristics for whatever reason God only knows. It appears that the way we are built, in regards to muscular strength, mental capacity and the ability to handle stress while under attack is part of the structure of men if they are to be the providers and protectors. If they are the protectors they must be willing out of love to sacrifice their lives to protect others, as Jesus sacrificed his life for us. Jesus said the greatest among you is also the servant. (Matthew 23:11) Jesus was a servant leader and thus men as the head of the family must also be a servant leader. 

The Bible tells us that concerning the relationship between husband and wife the husband is to be head over the wife and the wife is to be submissive to her husband. St. Paul mentioned this relationship several times in his letters. In my first marriage I let the husband be the head and what followed was that I took a downward path following his lead. In time, I began to look for the inner knowing I had before we were married but not until I saw I was being led by a manipulative person and I knew I would no longer allow that type of leadership. I wanted church and the head of me God. A year later a couple moved in across the street from us and introduced the Summit Lighthouse to me, the same group I had seen a few months earlier with their devotion to St. Germain in "The Wonderman of Europe". The church found its way to me and my knowing found St. Germain first so I could recognize the church when it came to me.

When my first husband could no longer manipulate me he grew angry and we separated. A marriage that has at its head a man who does not believe in God cannot obviously have Christ as the head of himself. Therefore, the wife is not obligated to be submissive to that husband who does not have Christ as his head. 

Why did I marry a man who did not have Christ as his head when I had knowing? One does not willingly walk into a trap for if they saw it they would avoid it at all costs. If one willingly walked into the trap the only benefit in doing so would be for sacrificial reasons. What could be served by my sacrificing my knowing and God's direction? "The head of every man is Christ 'Jesus'". Christ also has a head, it is God, "and the head of Christ is God". Although in my first marriage we got married in my church my husband had manipulated me hiding his godless stance. And, he continued to hide it for years by my absence of attending church while living in the Bahamas. 

Sacrificing my Knowing taught me the importance of Christ at the head of a man (husband) and that was the type of marriage I wanted, or I wanted to forgo marriage and be wed to Christ Jesus. It is the type of marriage God planned for all of us. Although that was my plan God had another plan for me. A man who supposedly had Christ as his head came into my life. As previously mentioned, in our first year of marriage his actions toward my odd behavior led me to see him as the Christ, which image I held the entire twenty years of marriage. That meant holding the image of the Christ over him regardless of his belief that I was hardly his idea of a loving wife.

False Wisdom
It was a few years into the marriage that I was given an inner vision and knowing that the woman he wanted me to be was half saint and half manipulator. A woman who manipulates uses false flattery, satisfying in bed, accepts that she is inferior to her husband's importance as the savior to mankind and who knows she is hearing the voice of God when her husband speaks. Immediately, I knew I could never be this woman and I ceased trying to adapt myself to my husband's image. Being was my priority. When you are Being you know what is right and moral behavior. I chose the head over me this Being, trusting the inner guidance. I loved Being with God. 

When we first got married we made decisions together and prayed together on those decisions and I felt God's guidance worked to bring us good fortune. When the INS processed my application to gain Kim permanent residency they found his connection to his previous false documentation to get a green card. We stopped praying together when Kim decided to do this on his own with a vigil to an "ascended master". I was no longer needed to work his miracle with God and that trend continued when his green card was taken away and he could no longer legally work in the U.S. He stopped paying child support to his first wife and tried to resolve that status with the State on his own. While I had the legal experience he never asked me for advice or help and consequently, he eventually wound up with a $20,000 court judgment against him for back child support. I kept quiet on giving any advice under the inner knowing to not interfere. I was at peace about it but I could not understand why that direction when I could have possibly helped change the course of action since this judgment not only affected Kim but our entire family. That judgment was still not paid off by the time of our divorce.

I put trust in having the wisdom of God to have at any moment His guidance if it was the will of God for me to have it. When it was not forthcoming I knew it was a necessary absence to learn from what would unfold in relying on human wisdom. I also witnessed the opposition to a woman giving heavenly direction. We had been jointly guided with miracles happening when we both looked to God for what we needed. What happened to cause us to have separate priorities with receiving inner direction? 

I began to reject Kim's wisdom when he accused me of not loving him. That was his human response because God knew I loved him and if he followed God's wisdom and direction he would have known the problem was not with me rather the problem was a high belief in he could do no wrong. I was the flawed individual and I only needed to change. I knew I had flaws and acknowledged them. Having someone whom I admired as the Christ (although Jesus is the Christ we can follow in Christ's footsteps and be Christ-like) none of us are perfect. When someone believes otherwise their wisdom comes into question as well as their connection with Christ wisdom.

The god that told Kim he had the perfect wisdom of Christ was not the God of wisdom. That god would have to be an ignorant god! For the rest of our marriage, I believed Kim was still the Christ in action and I was the unwise one lacking his knowing in being the Christ while yet I knew real wisdom only comes from God. When we separated he let me know in no uncertain terms that I was ignorant, and faulty in my decisions, and, with all his wisdom he could not "fix me". In other words, I was beyond help if even he, in his great wisdom, was unable to heal my flaws, which he relayed were being too responsible, causing conflicts by challenging people's actions (as a spiritual leader this was, according to his philosophy and wisdom, a wrongdoing) and I refused to face the real guru - himself - in her midst. While he never said he was this guru I would not face, it was implied without directly saying so or otherwise he would be seen as prideful.

Thus the dilemma was whose God was real? The god through Kim with his wisdom or the knowing and direction through me? We both couldn't be right. I reasoned that his wisdom was different because he was teaching to a different audience. I tried not to dig deeper than that reasoning to avoid conflict between us. The people would choose what they believed was the truth. They chose Kim's wisdom and many just tolerated my teachings or liked Kim's twist on them better with his translation of them. Only a few gravitated to the truth I believed came from Being God's wisdom.

The New Age Jesus
I wondered what was the purpose of this dilemma? The Summit Lighthouse, and probably all the way back to the I AM Movement, had twisted the concept of Christ, and we followers believed them. Jesus had just become the Christ example and he wasn't perfect. Even on the cross he supposedly felt like God had abandoned him because he thought he wasn't supposed to actually die on the cross. Jesus became one with the universal Christ consciousness, the Cosmic Christ, as all of us were meant to do. With that one lie God's truth was lost and Jesus was lowered to an ordinary man and men raised up to be equal in Christ. 

Kim's Jesus that he channeled for his website was akin to the New Age Jesus, not the real Jesus. The new age Jesus is very liberal. "Be in peaceful harmonious accord with whatever anyone believes no matter what their beliefs." "Everybody is one. Love everybody." There are no rules as far as disagreement goes. Kim did not really support Christianity either. One of his early books, after he became a messenger, was titled, "I Love Jesus: I Hate Christianity", giving a hint as to what was going on within him. 

While the real Jesus is love, during his three-year ministry he challenged the Pharisees and was Being, following God's will no matter what rule the Pharisees had created in what you could or could not do. Jesus was being direct with them. He said they taught about God but did not love God! They preached God but converted people to a dead religion. They taught the law but did not practice some of the most important parts of the law – justice, mercy, and faithfulness to God. They presented an appearance of being 'clean' yet they were dirty inside seething with hidden worldly desires such as carnality. 

In my Being I was led to challenging the behavior in individuals in our group who stepped across the line of morality and pridefully manipulated other members in our community. I believed we should treat each other righteously. Kim did not like this kind of leadership and resented that he had to get involved when some would cry on his shoulder or try to win him over to take sides with them, then blaming me for being unloving or unkind.

If God was guiding me through Being to speak the truth and Kim wanted peace over righteousness. His leadership and mine were not in alignment and one of us was not following the Christ. So I was labeled as unkind as well as ignorant. A wife is not obligated to to have her husband dishonor her. Being was anathema to Kim if your Being had rules and standards. Christ Jesus said, "Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32). Christ Jesus is the truth and sin separates us from truth and thus from Christ. 

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil" (Ephesians 6:11). We are "to grow up unto Him in all things" (Ephesians 4:15), to put on His image in all the harmony of truth and righteousness, and of peace and faith. Then we can receive and use His salvation and wield the spiritual energy of His Word. We obviously cannot help our brother if we are sinning ourselves so we must put on our armor and not get ensnared in sins. Then we can speak out to our brother about his sin. "But encourage one another every day, as long as it is called 'today,' that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin" (Heb 3:13).

From the experiences in my life I believe we are all meant to come into Being, where we know the truth about something, as it comes through us in Being. While you cannot prove this 'knowing' is truth, it does not matter. What matters is that you follow Christ and if possible, be the wayshower in godly behavior. In my personal life I have had to come up against prideful individuals who were manipulative in different ways. Unfortunately, no manner of Being on my part was able to convert them to Being and accepting the true Christ to come forth through them. They wanted their will and choices to reign. So first you have to want God's will to reign in your life. That means surrendering to God's will, even if you do not know what God wills for your life. That is the whole point, to surrender in love and faith and be willing to walk and go where even others won't go. 

So selfishness must go from every part of you. Pride has no part in God's world and Being. Jesus' comments to the Pharisees reveal the pride that they really had. Christians are not free of pride, they can think they their "religion" is the best and true teachings of Christ or that they have the "real" Jesus. The true teachings of Jesus come from Jesus. Thus understanding and true wisdom come from Jesus. We can gain insights and grow by reading and studying about what it means to be a Christian or follow in Christ's footsteps, but ultimately, Jesus will have to give us that insight that makes it real from within. We have a responsibility to share truth and to challenge the lie in our midst. If we are wrong in our truth then we know God will correct us as we keep ourselves clean of sin but we should not withhold truth out of fear of being wrong. In Being you will not do wrong.

These are the guidelines to Being:

Love God first. You can only truly love others when you love God first as there is no other love that is real but God's love.

The next step is to move with the Spirit. Through prayer and your faith and religious practices, you can ask to gain the gift of the Holy Spirit. You do not necessarily have to hear a voice within you, although God has spoken to me on occasion with words that came through my consciousness I knew were not from me. I shared a few of them here and you can see that they were timely and enlightening to help me see something about the past or to understand something that was coming in the future. You can say the voice is the voice of your guardian angel, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, or your soul or higher being. I use God because God includes Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and Father. 

In my youth, I thought of God a lot and I wanted to please God first. I wanted to be good like Jesus and in return, I just knew God would take care of me. This starts the Being process where you have faith in God's love for you and the belief that He is always there for you. In that process, I was Being. It was not so much that God gave me words and told me what I was to do, I just knew. The knowing was just there with Being. I did not question the knowing because I did not have the conception of what Being and knowing was. It is not taught in Scripture as a goal. It is the result of practicing loving God, which entails everything else Jesus taught us.

You do not need Eastern meditation to gain access to Christ and this knowing through Being. One man who practiced Transcendental Meditation (TM) and was heavily into the New Age and Alice Baily (with Master Djwal Kul) for years had visions, out of body experiences, heard words and had spiritual experiences through meditation, and beyond meditation, even in his ordinary state of consciousness. At first, he said it was exciting to experience the fortunate bonuses in his life. Then, after years, the voices started telling him to do things that were uncomfortable. If he did not, he would get depressed and physically sick until he obeyed, and then he would be instantly well. It was ten years of this until he realized he was being demoniacally controlled by these "masters". 

He found the truth through Scripture. He realized that none of the prophets in the Old Testament practiced mindless meditation to hear the word of God! They did not chant a phrase over and over to come to a point of emptiness as TM practices. Kim began his spiritual path training to become a TM teacher. He practiced meditation all during our marriage and believed he received insight into the "real" Jesus and truth through this practice. Yet, as this man described his experiences while practicing TM, you open yourself to demonic spirits masquerading as Jesus, Mary, or the Holy Spirit when you practice emptying or stilling your mind. 

The prophets didn't practice deep, mystical spiritual practices to hear God, or describe how they were to meditate on God's word. There is no description of sitting quietly cross-legged, lighting candles, breathing exercises to achieve stillness, chanting phrases to clear the mind, and waiting in this position for hours to hear God speak to them. That is described by Eastern religions and how they supposedly achieve oneness with spirit, Nirvana, or Brahman. Rather, Christian meditation is the process of deliberately focusing on specific thoughts such as a bible passage or what a word in the Bible means and using the mind to contemplate and pray for understanding.

The last step is to surrender to God's will daily and ask for His guidance. This I did earnestly when I was reciting a particular decree while in the Summit. One phrase their messenger had on a recording was "Listen. You never know when an angel will whisper in your ear and if you are too busy running around you might miss that still, small voice." While I was not looking for an angel to hear, I was open to God giving me direction and so I kept praying for my ability to hear God's voice because I was a very busy person and I knew I could be one of those who inadvertently missed the quiet voice because of the din of the world. I asked for God to give me a signal on my ear so I could stop my activity and listen. And then it happened. I heard what I believed was my Christ "self". At no time did I hear voices when I did not give permission. I would be signaled on my ear and then I would stop, make a prayer and then tune in with my consciousness and listen. These communications were different from the few enlightening messages I received occasionally before I became a messenger. Those messages came into my consciousness but were not audibly heard. Only one time did I have an audible message during those years and that was when I was warned that I was in danger and to turn off the road I was driving on. I shared that experience here.

I no longer audibly hear voices that began a few years before I became a messenger. They stopped, ironically, when I started my messengership for what I believed were the ascended masters. If it had of been demonic controlled or non malevolent spirits they would not have stopped. I then started writing my dictations through a process of tuning in and listening through my consciousness, not through hearing. When we ask for God's will to be done and surrender our lower will and the pull of worldly things to take us out of Being, we can become one where God directs through the Holy Spirit. I see the Holy Spirit has moved through me and given me the knowing after the fact. While I can decide my plan for the day in what chores and activities I plan to get done, I often find myself doing something else! I am totally happy and pleased with the "something else" but surprised at the same time. What happened? I was moving with the Spirit, and what I had decided with my mind was not God's plan for me. His will is my will and so His will moved me to do the "something else".

The Two
Now there is a word I can use that describes when we are not Being and not one. That is when we are two. If one is the will to do God's will then two is without God and when a person makes all their decisions themselves. They might proclaim they are one with God's will or doing God's will or know the truth and teach it, yet if they are making decisions from the mind they are not in Being. Intellectuals, and people who think a lot or have to go over and over in their mind the right course of action, aren't in tune with Being.

Some might call this the duality consciousness, where there is defined good and evil which are opposites and people take sides. There is good and there is evil and we do have to choose and we can choose wrongly or selfishly or believe out of pride or wrong programming that "our way" is the right way and thus good. All those obstacles to understanding truth and righteousness disappear when we are in Being and one. We know what is right! If we choose to move out of God's will and decide to not forgive someone or do something selfishly that will hurt another, we have separated from God's will and Being in one. 

In my marriage examples above I moved in and out of Being as I responded to my beliefs in what constituted a marriage with the husband as the head. My beliefs had to be cleansed and my Being had to move through the belief systems of this world and the understanding of Scripture. While I held the belief that men are wiser than women, possibly from the stigma on women from Eve's loss of wisdom when she disobeyed God and followed the Serpent, I was going to meet men who believed this and responded to that belief by manipulating women or pridefully lording over women. I believe God brings us the people who are able to expose our wrongful states of consciousness. Thankfully, God also brings us the ability to love them and while learning together we, therefore, can have a loving relationship where we learn God's truth and leadership through Christ. If we can't have a loving relationship the only choice might be to separate as one or both partners engage in unloving behavior.

I pray this understanding in what is true leadership will bring love and Christ into your life.